The Pihu Diary: A Joyful Inheritance

Mother’s Day just went by and well, my little Pihu is too young to have figured that out. 

Most mothers take it as a compliment to see their children grow up to be like them. But that’s only if they inherit the right qualities I am thinking.

Pihu bears a striking resemblance to her Dad which does not go unnoticed by anyone who sees her for the first time. This does not irk me honestly as she seems to have got his best features J However, having passed on my genes to her, I would like to see a few attributes passing on to Pihu from me as well. So that got me thinking. What would be those ideal traits I would want to see her reflect?

Here’s a list I have made that Pihu can take as a reference point.

Amiability: An overdose of this can make you a compulsive social butterfly but in the right doses, it can help you get popular while making a bunch of genuine friends. This trait will also help her earn the goodwill of people around her- in school, college, around the neighbourhood, on foreign shores, wherever she may be.

Wanderlust: I have never really been a backpacker and taken off untrammeled to unknown destinations but even if she doesn’t have a thirst for adventure, I would at least like her to enjoy travelling, exploring places, learning about new cultures and more importantly, respecting people of different ethnicities and faith and nature in its myriad magical forms.

Reading: I give you my word for it that there’s no better gift you can give to your children than inculcating the joy of reading. Books can be true companions in many a moment of loneliness, melancholy and boredom. I remember passing many a vacation in my childhood based on this hobby and am never afraid about how to kill my free time thanks to books. And the learning and broadening of horizons besides developing a flair for language are just perks of the hobby.

Foodie: Food is the elixir of a life well-lived. It binds people to each other, it reflects passion and perfection for a dish well-made, it induces joy and imbues a sense of happiness for everyone relishing it. I want Pihu to be able to have equal excitement for the road-side pani puri as a zest for fine dining at a grand buffet. A foodie is always hungry for exploring the new, the undiscovered while enjoying basking in the glory of memories past. That home-made chocolate barfi, the first sizzler eaten on a family occasion, the aam papad smuggled in to the school dabba, a drop of cool nimbu paani on a hot summer holiday….I want her to savour all this and more. It can also perhaps inspire her to don the apron and whip up a delicacy herself someday! That happened to me so there’s proof.

Workaholic: Yeah, I know this sounds a bit weird but this is something that comes as a given. Although of course I enjoy putting my feet up, I want Pihu to understand the meaning of time spent in engaging in constructive and productive activities. A workaholic who is constantly hunting for his next chore will eventually end up achieving more than the average Harry. And I want Pihu to learn to work with a self-disciplined efficiency so she always has reasonable free time on her hands to unwind, breathe and just be. 

A love for the arts: I would of course also like her to develop a love for art, theatre and classical music so she can enjoy the finer points of life. Kids these days look lost on their own cultural roots and I want her to find her own through these pursuits.

Bandi ye Bindaas Hai: An Ode to the Bold & the Beautiful in Bollywood

Over the last couple of years, I have observed a rising tide that refuses to ebb. The trend if it is here to stay heralds the celebration of a new era of womanhood and its portrayal in Hindi cinema. Unlike the female leads in commercial cinema of the ‘90s who had a mandatory 5 songs, 5 scenes and 5 dialogues inclusive or exclusive of a rape scene, this new genre of films is upholding everything a female lead should actually stand for: independence, confidence, assertiveness, a taste for the unconventional and decision making without the presence of a hero to serenade/support her. And yet, she isn’t boring, dominating, bitchy or despicable. She is in fact turning the rules and scope of characterisation of a heroine in a typical Hindi film on its head and singing ‘Main Heroine Hoon’ in her own tune. Still wondering who or what I am talking about? A handful of post-millennium films may help you get the point better:

Tanu Weds Manu/Returns: It all started with what looked like a relatively low budget, small town film starring no big superstars but the occasionally seen Madhavan and Bhatt camp success story Kangana Ranaut who had established her acting credentials with Fashion, Life in a Metro and numerous Vishesh Film banner films with Emraan Hashmi like Gangster.  The film released in 2011, and marked what would become a rage in coming years- the demure, chaste and soft-spoken small town girl had suddenly gone bold, brash and boisterous. She had men eating out of her hands and could balance her numerous suitors on the tip of her finger. Men in this film were left with the job of wooing their way in to her heart while she was the one who took the ultimate decision of who her life partner should be. Come 2015, the cult film which had by now captured a fan following doubled the fun with two characters in the sequel and Kangana reprising her role of Tanu, who had now gone wilder and whackier. The film’s plot may have bordered on the absurd but it had a nation laughing at the sorry state of affairs families and more importantly the so-called heroes in the film were reduced to.

Queen : Straight after Tanu Weds Manu hit the hall of fame, Kangana bagged another role which would catapult her to the A-list category of stars in Bollywood and take her box office value in to the big ticket bracket. As Rani she manages to shine through her transition from a shy Delhi girl to a no-holds barred spurned bride who bears no regrets or ill-will towards her fiancée whatsoever. As someone who takes off for her own honeymoon solo, she finds an able companion in the svelte Lisa Haydon instead of a regular knight in shining armour.  This girl takes on the role of ‘Vijay’, incidentally the name of Rani’s fiancée who supposedly left her in the lurch after jilting Rani on her wedding day. The girls paint the town red, shake a leg and live it up in Paris- dissipating age old myths and melodrama  associated with single women left to deal with their traumatic past.

English Vinglish: Making an inroad in to this genre of cinema post 2000 was English Vinglish with Sridevi packing a crackling punch as a subjugated homemaker who comes into her own during her trip to the US. English as a language is used beautifully in the film to show her rediscovery as a person with her own identity and voice. It is a medium she uses to translate her desi avatar in to one that demands respect, love and equal space from her family members.

NH10: Not a female-oriented drama as much as it is an action thriller, this film stands out because of Anushka Sharma’s decision to produce and star in a film that makes all the right noises about a woman in an action-oriented role. It comes with a message without eulogising about nari shakti and instead, depicts the consequences of the exploitation of women in almost a matter-of-fact manner. My best moment in the film is the cold expression in Anushka’s eyes when she goes about claiming vengeance in the climax of the film. It’s not over-the-top and is executed in a slick and effortless fashion, no ‘Jai Mata Di’ moment here. It’s all conveyed through the culminating response of a woman reduced to little choice when it comes to seeking justice for the wrongs inflicted upon her.

Tamasha: The film may have starred Ranbir Kapoor but I see it more as a coming-of-age film for Deepika Padukone. She followed this up with Bajirao Mastani the same year which was again hailed as one of her best perfomances till date. The characters she played in both films may have spanned ages but essentially have a lot in common. As Tara in Tamasha or Mastani in Bajirao Mastani, Deepika has no qualms going up to the man she is in love with and professing her love to him, knowing well that he holds the right to reject her. She may be strong without losing that vulnerability every woman in love experiences. Both characters have a mind of their own, live life their way fully aware of the consequences of their acts and decisions, and are able to pull back or rise to challenges head on. So much in one film speaks eons of where female actors have reached today in terms of the length and depth of their roles.

Highway/Kapoor & Sons: Alia Bhatt, the youngest entrant in this list of bindaas bandis who with Highway and Kapoor & Sons lives up to the spirit of a young modern woman who is unafraid of the realities around her and yet is not going to drown herself in an emotional avalanche. Breaking stereotypes of how a good girl should behave like, she chooses to do what she likes, irrespective of how people judge her.

With more and more such heroines coming to the fore thanks to some original and fresh writing and direction, stereotypical stories can go for a toss and rightly so!