Once
a kid turns two, most parents are bound to suffer the first pangs of his or her
michievous ways- either the kid is falling over a misplaced piece of furniture
or toppling it in glee. However, such are not the travails of a parent who has
the more tricky task of bringing up a three year old. For all the curiosity and
natural agility that a two year old manifests, once he or she turns three,
comes the realisation that she has a mind of her own. Now while that may come
as good news, it often means she learns to control it and direct it to achieve
her purpose, however lop-sided or illogical it may be. Ever seen parents who are
otherwise believed or acknowledged to be sensible become putty in the hands of
their three year old and subject themselves to behaviour ranging from the
illogical to the impractical? So if you see a father of sizeable girth trying
to dive in to a pool only to hear his kid squeal in delight, there! That’s what
I am talking about. Learning to talk and developing language skills not only
help a kid at three communicate but also convince his dear parents that he is
the complete antithesis of unmoulded clay you are left with to shape up. In
fact, it is quite the opposite. If you have seen fathers becoming calmer people
after fatherhood or mothers becoming more subservient after motherhood, rest
assured that they have a three year old mastering the art of ‘slow and steady
persuasion’. Here’s how Pihu does it and yes, like any other duty-bound parent,
this comes with a self-acknoweldgement of defeat at the hands of a two
feet-something kid who came and invaded my world not so long ago.
1)
“But you
told me you would”…this is a common refrain that Pihu has armed herself
with everytime she knows she wants to do something we may not approve of or
want to engage in. So if she wants to go out, she will begin her line with “But
you told me you would take me out...” When we disagree or nullify that claim,
out comes the persistence that She: We did…Me: No, we didn’t…She: Did too….Me:
No…She: Yes…Me: Not at all…She: So then why did you say it?….till you say what
the heck, and go ahead and do it anyway.
2)
“I want
something badly”….This is usually on occasion of being in the presence of
that very thing- standing strategically at a juice centre, a shop that displays
chocolates or chips, a toy car ride, or a Peppa Pig soft toy rack. Used usually
when you are out shopping at the supermarket or strolling through a mall,
window-shopping. The conversation goes: I want something. What do you want?
Something. What something? Something, just give me something….You mean
anything? No no something. (Only the something is right in your face and you
will be disqualified in the contest for Ideal Parenthood for not knowing better
so not surprisingly, you give in and identify that ‘something’ sooner than
later and hand it over meekly, like you always planned to give it anyway).
3)
“But
Granny/Daddy/Mamma loves me!”
Love….that tender little emotion that we all want to feel and kids usually get
an abundance of, from all quarters. So if Pihu wants to go to a particular
relative’s place, and we don’t really see a reason for it, she will use this
ace card. So you say, I am going over to grandma’s place. You needn’t come.
She: But why? Me: Because I am going alone. You can stay here with Dad. She: No
but I want to go. Me: Why? She: Because Granny loves me. Me: Hmmm…ok! Works
best when used to get to your doting grandparents or indulgent aunts/uncles or
to get your parents to do you a favour.
4)
“This one
is my favourite.” So there is a favourite toy she wants to go to sleep
with, a pet bottle she wants to drink water from or a yellow spoon that she
must use to eat. Try making the kid comply with you if you don’t have these
things ready when you want her to do your bidding and you have a rough ride
ahead. If you want your kids to follow your directions…errrr…requests in most
cases, ply them with their favourites. They work wonders on a difficult day.
5)
“I have
to watch Baby TV…” after I brush my teeth. Can I watch Baby TV after
breakfast? No don’t switch channels, I am watching Baby TV. Oh no, that’s my
favourite show on Baby TV, you can’t change the channel now. No, I don’t like
this show, why do you keep watching it again and again? (It’s a different
episode everyday you say). You should watch Baby TV. Why don’t you watch Baby
TV? I am done with homework, let’s watch Baby TV. (With parents this daft, the
kid has no way out but to leave subtlety to the winds. By the way, any guesses
as to what her favourite channel may be?)
6)
Running
around the bush and still getting her way: Me: Why do you like Peppa Pig so
much? She: She is pink in colour. Me: Wow, so you like pink. She: Yes I do.
(Pause) You’ve seen that rabbit’s tongue on TV. Me: No. She: It’s red in
colour. I like red too. I want a red cake for my birthday. Me: Nice. And how
about a birthday dress? She: Yes, that too in red. Me: Of course. Me: What
colour pencil do you like? She: Red. Me: Pencil box? She: Red. Me: Eraser? She:
Red. Me: School bag? She: Red Me: Lunch box? She: Red. Me: Flowers? She: Red. Me: Hair
band? She: Red. Me: Socks? She:
Red. Me: Ice cream? She: (exasperated) Red. Me: Shoes? She: I SAID RED! This
could go on leaving me to wonder what I did to start all this invasion of red
in the first place. On second thoughts, it’s also the colour of love, right? I
might as well make my peace with it.
