One Plate Women’s Lib Please!

All the women of the 21^st century, it’s time to take a bow. We have achieved and lived to see the day that zillions of women before us only dreamt of and perhaps even died dreaming of. They would have given anything to be part of the world we live in today, only if for the air of freedom we breathe, the rights we enjoy as a woman and that lethal weapon we so effortlessly wield in the face of a problem- choice. Yes, as women born and living in this day and age, we have what many women before us could only hope for- the weapon of choice. I call it weapon because it is something we can today use in our defence. It has helped us take key decisions to support, nurture and empower us. To opt for higher studies abroad, to push the decision to marry to a later date, to marry as per our preference, to work post marriage, to have a kid or not, to have your own back balance, to buy a house, to remain single, to take care of your parents, to follow your own religion, retain your maiden surname...the list goes on.

However, like any other change, this form of societal change has also brought with it, its fair share of cons. Which is why, along with the sense of pride that accompanies the feeling of achievement women’s lib has brought with it, there is also a deep sense of disillusionment and disappointment towards what we term as ‘progress’ we have made as women of today.

i) We love our skinny jeans and flaunting those shapely legs in our hotpants. What is unnerving though is when women start deliberately using it to prove their androgyny and boldness. So whether it’s a temple or a mehndi ceremony, I find it unsettling when a woman refuses to let go of the hotpants, even if they have to clash badly with her chuda and sindoor in tow for good measure! Since when did the plunge in your neckline or the butt cleavage you revealed start ascertaining the width of women’s lib, I wonder! Wearing a contrasting colour bra with your kurta or t shirt is also a distinct trait exclusive to this trend.

ii) So we all love it when the femme fatale in a film lets out a whiff of smoke before flashing her sexy pout at the camera. The slender cigar stylishly complements her long, winding fingers and bright red nails she flashes, as she gets rid of the accumulated ash at the tip of her cigar with a mere flick of her finger. So much in control...In our not-so-glamorous lives and in stark contrast though, are women who keep smoking to keep up with hectic jobs, domestic upheavals and to prove a point to every man on this planet earth, or just because you feel liberated because you do so. I have only one question for you- Is a stick of nicotine and a stinking mouth all you are left with after fighting the maladies of social evil perpretrated on womankind?

iii) I have often witnessed playful verbal battles between office colleagues about who can drink more given the chance. And several of my female colleagues take pride in being able to match a male whisky enthusiast drink by drink. Irrespective of your ability to stand vertical after that deadly dose of your favourite poison, your irresistible urge to hit the bottle still eggs you on. A woman who lets her instinct for alcohol loose, is giving an open invitation to losing the dignity she has spent more than half her life accomplishing. We all have a right to enjoying life but trust me, a habitual alcoholic is not my idea of a liberated woman, thank you very much. I once had a friend who wanted to be a pilot and show her dad that she could make him proud as a girl child. The only kind of skill she has accomplished till date is crash landing after being eight pegs down at the local bar.

Some other indicators for this millennium that would give you the ‘liberated’ tag are as follows:

iv) If you swear so filthily, it would put a truck driver to shame.

v) If you have been/are/will be dating more than a single man at a time or at different points of your life before finally settling for one. Compulsorily.

vi) If you are not a virgin before marriage

vii) If you are laying down the rules at home after marriage. And threatening your husband with divorce after every domestic squabble where the word ‘compromise’ comes up.

viii) If you regularly indulge in PDA with your current/ex/future lover from time to time.

ix) If you have left your house at 21-25 to live independently.

x) If you refuse to cook even if your 234^th maid just left in a huff.