Bigg Deal Chhe Boss!

A lot has already been said about it but what with the dirth of good television content today it has become imperative that people have something to watch daily, no matter how inane. Without a doubt, reality shows like Bigg Boss serve this purpose whether they are alag chhe or not. It is like coming back home and simply having something as intellectually non-stimulating as walls around you. You see shows like these make you feel familiar warmth about enjoying the mundane and banal; no matter how idiotic these shows are, they fulfill two needs- they kill your time and provide visual distraction without expecting much intellectual contribution from your side. Yes, now you know why KBC cannot compete here. And no, daily news channels are no match as they have the power to offend your senses. Bigg Boss is way better. For once, it is somebody else’s life under control, someone else being yelled at and insulted and someone else whose life is sounding like a joke. Actually, better than staring at the wall no? So there are a few recurring themes that have held forth every season of this exceptionally non life-altering reality show. Nah, I don’t mean the stupid tasks, the voice of Bigg Boss and the depravity of mankind. Read on to know more...

Loserville.com: Once a loser, always a loser! I mean how many of them do you even recall or have spotted post BB. Rahul Roy? Ashutosh Singh? Vindoo Dara Singh?? Shweta Tiwari, the only established TV actor with a career is an exception. The same cannot be said about Juhi Parmar who seems to have faded in to oblivion post her victory. As for the latest winner, I don’t remember the last TV outing Urvashi Dholakia starred in before this. Feel free to remind me please.

Discreet Brand Endorsements: Last year, it was Akashdeep Saigal being called Sky. If you thought that was an attempt to make him sound cool, think again. I have a hunch they were promoting Tata Sky in a novel way. This year, it’s been Delnaaz who was being called Dell (of the laptop brand).

Romantic Trysts: Nothing beats a lanky Rahul Mahajan trying desperately to woo defamed starlet Monica Bedi. The red rose every morning was followed by one of the corniest proposals ever made. “Eh, Monu sun na. Shaadi kar lete hai chal. Phir hamare bhi tere jaise cute cute bachche honge. Chal na. Haan bol de.” All the time shaking one leg while sitting on her bed, hardly able to quell his excitement. Classic.

The Vamp: Rakhi tried but couldn’t quite connect with the audience. Veena Malik won this hands down. She pouted, gasped, pirouetted, rolled her tongue in and out...what you getting scandalized for- you watched all of this with eyes wide open and mouth gaping remember! She also snuggled close for comfort with Ashmit Patel while eyeing and flirting her level best with the other dude in the house- Hrishant. Sunny Leone didn’t even match up to her potential, her professional credentials notwithstanding.

Resident Evil: Dolly Bindra, Akashdeep Saigal, Raja Choudhury, KRK, Imam Siddiqui...they all added so much aggression to the mundane routines of the House, they gave a new meaning to the term, ‘bringing the house down.”

And finally...The Host: Whoever remembers that the first season of Bigg Boss was hosted by a humble Arshad Warsi! By the next season, sultry Shilpa Shetty earned a second shot at fame with her much hyped win in Big Brother UK and was expected to bring more TRPs for the desi version in its second season. By season three, the producers had earned enough money to afford the Big B of cinema himself so Mr. Amitabh Bachchan did the honours and lent some refreshing dignity to the proceedings. The people behind the scenes though realised in time that they needed to connect with the youth and give more mass appeal to the show in terms of the presentation- read crass humour, juvenile jokes and loads of attitude and hungama. Exit AB. Enter Salman Khan. And they lived happily ever after. He was of course joined by Sanjay Dutt in Season 5 but the audience didn’t quite warm up to Munnabhai so Sallu was unanimously called upon to reprise his role and claim his throne. After all, no one can play ‘bhai’ quite like Salman right- he can crack the dumbest PJ on earth and people will still laugh. He can get angry, point fingers at the housemates and give them a show down on national television and people will applaud. If he flirts with the women with them flirting back, we will feel awed by his charismatic charm. And of course, who else can carry off lying down on stage because he simply feels like it in the middle of the show? This is one star who even Bigg Boss doesn’t take chances with ‘coz when it comes to Salman- like the great Dabangg star himself says sab kuch, ‘Alag Chhe!’