The Pihu Diary: What not to expect of a three year old!

It’s amazing how kids cross these milestones so speedily, making you wonder where did the days go by! Of course, if one would ask me to summarise this last year, or the span of time where Pihu transitioned from being from two to three years old, I would be joking if I said it was a breeze. In reality, it was anything but that because besides managing a toddler’s inexhaustible energy for exploration and making sure her growth is healthy, happy and disciplined, it’s an exercise in patience understanding and dealing with her many moods, mannerisms and mischievous tendencies. This has been an important year for Pihu- physically and socially, sending us parents in to palpitations in order to balance the nature-nurture act! So while we were trying to ease her passage from being a home-bound infant to a smart preschooler, little did we know that we were grappling with a phase that would see her catch every virus that ever flew by meaning she would miss a lot of school and we would be feeding her a lot of medication while she healed her way through countless infections. It was also a period that would make us experience her first tantrums and realise that our little munchkin had finally come to terms with new skills she had picked up along the way like communication. This was and still is also pretty much the time when our little daughter has oriented herself to some wonderful privileges having tasted the luxury of being an only child!

We as parents often start building up expectations for and from our child early on- that she will be a bright spark in preschool, that she will be well-mannered, that she should be obedient and disciplined, that she should eat healthy, that she will be popular among her newfound friends, that she will become suddenly much more smarter and well-adjusted in life now that she is a pre-schooler, that she even might be a child prodigy etc etc. Thanks to reality shows on TV now we know, that your child may be barely three but she can sing like a nightingale, she could dance like Sridevi and even act like Kareena Kapoor. So what if she can barely spell ‘three’, at least she is ‘talented’ and this exception will take her very far. Sky is the limit when your toddler is spouting Sanskrit shlokas at an age when all she should be using her tongue is to lick lollipops and ice candies. So here’s a handy parents' guide to what not to expect of a three year old because, hell, you don’t even remember what you were like when you were at that age so let’s not even start building castles in the air already!

So don’t expect them to:

• ·        Bury their inquisitiveness: Yeah, so you think you can escape that incessant, urgent and exasperating interrogation? Whether it is Baby TV, the morning newspaper or a movie, Pihu is full of questions- from what is that honeybee doing flying around the screen like that, to what is Trump’s hair colour to what is that gentleman wearing a skirt planning to do with his sword....there is no end to it. Try ignoring those and you will be subjected to an endless attack of repetition- the weapon that kids use against parents who dare to neglect their pointed queries! And you thought you could watch or read something in peace anymore! Hahaha!  
  
  
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• Respect your privacy: Whether I am on the phone, working on my laptop or watching TV, you can rest assured that my daughter will have to barge in and first find out what I am upto, then demand to know why I am engaging in that particular activity followed by a detailed inquiry in to what that activity entails. Check this sample out to demonstrate the same.
  P: What is this you are watching? Me: Friends. P: Why are you watching it? Me: I like it. P: But you just watched it yesterday. Why are you watching it again? Me: It’s a different episode. P: No, see that guy over there, you just saw him yesterday. He’s Joey right? Why are you watching Joey again?
  Please note this is an essential tactic kids use to veer their parents’ attention from TV so that they get to watch what they want to eventually! And you thought kids didn’t know mind games.
  
  
  
  
• Remain a kid: So they may just be toilet-trained and already eating their meals without help, but their sense of independence goes beyond this. Pihu can hold an argument with my Mom on why the latter must not fuss over her eating while watching TV, she wants to choose her clothes every time she goes out and likes to believe she can switch the remote to what she wants to watch whenever she likes. Her sense of cleanliness will make her point out that little spot on the dinner table that you probably missed while cleaning up and a stoic sense of discipline will make her remind you to turn off the fans and lights once you are out of a room. She will notice that one element that has changed when she enters a room and even remember every toy she left behind at home after coming back from a long holiday.
  
  
  
  
• Be a grown up: But at the end of the day, a kid can’t escape her age and so don’t expect her to understand why she must go back to school everyday or why she can’t touch electrical equipment or eat in your favourite porcelain plate. Pihu needs reasonable explanations to why her Dad is locked in his room for an important official Skype chat, her attention-seeking tantrums need limiting and those big fat tears always threatening to overflow need plenty of hugs, tissues and kisses  before you can call it a day.
  
  
  
  
• And finally, help to retain your peace of mind: Yes, yes I am ranting aren’t I? But for all those parents who can’t stop raving about how having kids has been the best thing in their life, let me put it as blatantly as possible in case you never noticed- they make a rare commitment to sacrifice their peace of mind. It is nice to take it on your chin and call it an essential part of growing up and adulthood, a small compromise for the heartening satisfaction of having brought up a kid, blah blah but seriously, imagine the sleepless nights, the long lines for school/college admissions, the extra expenses, those emergency medical rounds to the pediatrician, the piles of homework, the messy pranks they will play, the adjustment problems puberty will bring with it, that shocking revelation they will make once they are ready to fly out of the nest....phew! And closer to my present timeline- the mental test of endurance that your toddler will put you through every time she falls ill or has a fit of anger, refuses to eat or do as instructed. It is advisable to keep that BP in check and really, take very good care of your health because you are going to need every ounce of it to tackle that bundle of joy who trundled in to your life to shake up your ‘happily ever after’ marital ambitions!

So why am I still smiling if it sounds so terrible? Ah, simple- because I signed up for it much like that much-hyped and much-coveted job you get hired for and then come to grips with the warts and all. It also immensely helps when Pihu occasionally looks into my eyes and asks, “You are my friend right?” and goes on to hug me tight or plant an affectionate kiss on my cheek when I agree. She also likes to take my face in her tiny hands and call me beautiful. Try ignoring that kid of adulation some time. Like my Mom always likes to sum up by saying, “Life is not a bed of roses”.

I find succour amidst the grim reality of being a responsible parent from the fact that at least I will know I grew a rose of my own and nurtured it right from the root to the bud she has become and from the aspiration of seeing her in full bloom one day. Bringing up a kid in that way is much like a work-in-progress or WIP as  you may call it- but isn’t life that too?!