Oh Wo-mania!

 The need to raise the bar for women-oriented roles in Hindi films has been a big bone of contention between writers, filmmakers on one side and female actors and the audience on the other. There have been a few glorious women-powered films here and there through the ‘90s that increased in the millennium with films like Chandni Bar (2001), Fashion (2008), The Dirty Picture (2011), Kahaani (2012), English Vinglish (2012), Queen (2013), Mary Kom (2014), Mardaani (2014), Pink (2016), Neerja (2016), Raazi (2018) and Thappad (2020). 

Circa 2020 and the narrative has changed most definitely. While the emergence of  multiplexes gave a thrust to small films clicking at the box office, the growth of OTT platforms has today urged filmmakers to push the envelope in terms of storytelling and who can be the protagonist. Cinema today is no longer suspended by the superficial thread of the formula film which thankfully has died an unkind death at the hands of eager beavers lapping up Netflix, Disney Hotstar and Amazon Prime Video. The age-old theory of ‘heroic films’ are what the junta want, no longer rings true. Post-Covid when watching films at home became a daily norm rather than a weekend habit, filmmakers have been forced to find new ground to share their ideas and a strong protagonist to make it credible, without needing it to be testosterone-empowered. The slow and steady trend of discovering novelty through art has whetted the appetite of cineastes who now want to see something new, something unique and something that doesn’t necessarily  entail relegating our women to being wallflowers in a masculine plot. 

While television in the ‘90s may have shone a light on women-centric and female-oriented soap operas, films had yet to shed that kind of spotlight on women. May be it was the fall of the giant Khans and the slack in their superstardom that held sway over the box office for decades. May be it was just the lack of good content on OTT platforms but the propelling of the woman in to playing relatable, strong and substantial roles has taken root for sure. 

I would also like to give credit to filmmakers like Sanjay Leela Bhansali who have never shied away from making their sultry female protagonist sweep the carpet under the typical hero’s feet with her gaze, her gestures, her overpowering charisma and charm. Never are these attributes used to underplay her tact, her intelligence, her strength of character or her core values. No surprise then that his Gangubai Kathiawadi in 2022 rang the box office bells like no film in this genre. It became the harbinger of good times in a year that saw films by male actors collapse like a pack of cards for example Cirkus, Raksha Bandhan and Runway 34. The same year gave us Qala, Mili, Darlings, Three of Us and Gehraiyaan. 

Let’s flash forward to 2023/2024 to see how the trend is keeping up: 

(May contain spoilers)

Laapata Ladies 

An unassuming, humble and poignant film about women who are lost behind the veil (figuratively) and in the film (literally!) Casting-wise, the only legit star in this tragi-comic saga is the ever-reliable Ravi Kishen and yet, it is the story which emerges as the real star as characters much younger and more vulnerable take centrestage. As the story unfolds, it is the innocent Phool and the rebellious Jaya who take the story forward. Gradually, the women take on the task of questioning society in a purposeful and hard-hitting manner. This is manifested through the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in Deepak Kumar’s house who debate whether they should become friends through shared wisdom and kinship or the wonderful Chhaya Kadam who plays the unforgiving but kind Manju Maai who sows the seeds of independence and industry in the wide-eyed little girl Phool. Sending ripples in the calm waters of societal diktats and dogma, the real tone of the film is set by its innocent brides, almost too young to be wed, at the threshold of their entire life being defined by the men they marry. It is moving, authentic and relevant in its message as well as its moral value. 

Heeramandi 

This is one series that has bestowed abject power in the hands of women so much so that men rally around them or are very much used as a means to fulfil their own motives. As Mallikajaan played by a domineering Manisha Koirala puts it, her ilk may be courtesans dancing to please the nawabs of Heeramandi, but they choose who they dance for, they do not trade their craft and do not exhibit their art outside the fortress-like confines of their kothi, the thriving and resplendent Shahi Mahal. These women tied to their fate by birth or circumstance are nubile, ambitious, clever and strong-willed, exerting an indomitable influence on both their royal clientele and the English rulers who are equally intimidated and intrigued by them. In the end, these women symbolise beauty, grace, etiquette and artistic pursuit and excellence as well as they propagate defiance, sacrifice, freedom, independence and fortitude. This is encapsulated mesmerisingly in the tear-jerking march they set off on, in the closing notes of the film. Be it the delusional Lajjo, the opportunistic Waheeda, the hopeless and hapless lover Alam, the gentle but revolutionary Bibbo or the cunning Fareedan or even the fiercely loyal Satto and Phatto, these are all distinctly written parts in a series that does not apologise for the fiesty flare of feminism.

Crew 

This money heist may not be the most original of a film, but let’s give an applause to the women who still manage to make it immensely watchable and whistle-worthy! I don’t remember the last Hindi film which was headlined by three women and still managed to make it sell without the need to push a few suave men in to the party or be dictated by the ‘bechari abala naari’ concept. Tabu, Kareena and Kriti play a gang of girls who are out to claim what they feel they deserve and make no mistake, they get it right with their easy camaraderie and a conscious distancing from the ‘holier than thou’ avatar society would like to cast them in.

Article 370

A surprising new infusion of oestrogen in a characteristically male territory is Article 370. From the get go, it is Yami Gautam’s film- whether it is tracking down terrorists in Kashmir or hatching plots in hand with the government through the furtive operations of the NIA. It is a dream role for any female actor where wielding a gun should come as easy as commanding a team of expert investigators to cull the corrupt and communal tentacles that trap the troubled land of Kashmir. Bolstering her stance is no handsome male superior or avuncular politician but a svelte and stoic Priyamani. While Yami is engaged in a tussle involving brain and brawn both, it is Priyamani who walks the polished and perfumed corridors of the Parliament to assert pressure and point, in order to bring about the abrogation of the Article 370. Without missing a step, she holds her own weight, whether it is with the brooding Home Minister or the resolute PM, playing an integral and groundbreaking role in the culmination of the political events that unfold. 

(The title of this post is a popular song that gave women their share of the meaty pie in Gangs of Wasseypur 2- a revenge saga which could easily have turned out to be a gangster-infested bloodbath steamrolled by men in the year 2012. Incidentally, it also catapulted music director Sneha Khanvalkar to the halls of fame with her unconventional, rooted to the hinterland and yet so contemporary melodies that seeped in to the soul of the film.)

A comic candle extinguished.

 

Matthew Perry was a household name in India during my school years. I still remember our slam books and coy conversations around who we thought would make the ideal boyfriend, the perfect husband and the fun hangout friend among Chandler, Ross and Joey with mine coming up strictly in that order. I can only therefore imagine the madness these guys must have invoked in the US among countless fans of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Secretly, we all wanted to have this whole gang of goofy, crazy and at the end of the day, faithful bunch of comrades who were more family than friends. The relationship they shared matured with time as each got more serious and yet made us laugh and cry, sometimes within the same episode. 

Even today, a good couple of decades after my college years, every time the iconic song by The Rembrandts ‘I’ll be there for you’ plays, it gives me a heady rush of nostalgia, taking me back to the good old times of the ‘90s, when friends meant hanging out together at a cafe for no rhyme or reason and conversations revolved around picking on a favourite topic to argue over or just chide a pal playfully about his/her pet peeve. Ah, the wonder years.

So why did Chandler stand out for me so much? Apart from the fact that the guy always had his friends’ backs, whether it was nursing Ross through his break up with Rachel or throwing the odd treat for his flatmate Joey who was always broke, this man was the stuff of my friendship goals. Besides, he had the best lines in the house! 

Take Chandler out of the show, and it’s just a bunch of headless chickens without perspective because that is what he did for the others- put things in perspective with a generous dose of his bitter sarcasm. Where was it all rooted? May be his shame over having a father who had opted for a sex change and turned in to a woman who now dressed and performed drag, may be it was from having a mother who was more promiscuous than he could handle, may be it was from the fact that he couldn’t imagine sharing his embarrassingly ludicrous surname with a wife, may be it was because he worked in a job no one could describe right, may be it was his soul that was broken from his mournful dating abilities, may be it came from a place of hitting rock bottom after dating a woman called Janice with that annoying nasal twang. Who knows? All we know is he was the man I would want to hang out with after a break up, the man I would watch Baywatch with and hoot at the men while he lusted for Pamela, he would be the man standing next to me at the altar when I put my hand out to my bride, he would be the man whose shoulder I would cry happy tears on after my baby was born and he would definitely be the guy I would share my Christmas dinner with over a glass of white, reminiscing the year that was and guffawing over it. 

Why am I so convinced? Have you checked the guy’s regular caffeine-infused dose of sarcasm? If there was a singular award dedicated to Best Sarcastic Actor on the Planet EVER, it would go to this character- hook, line and sinker, yes ma’am. Arrrghh! You still don’t get it, do you? Do I have to be clearer than that? And if you are one of those philistines who never got to watching even one episode of the world’s best sitcom show, excuse me, what are you doing on this post, errr…I mean on this planet? Anyway, those ones with the rapid memory loss, I’ll just leave you with these gems to prove my point.

Ross: I can’t believe you two had s** in her dream.

Chandler: I’m sorry, it was a one time thing and it was someone else’s subconscious.

Joey’s much older GF: There is a little child inside this man.

Chandler: Yes, the doctors say if they remove it, he will die. 

Joey: You are smoking again?

Chandler: Actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today, I am smoking still. 

Monica: Guys, what should I wear to a Knicks game?

Chandler: A t shirt that says ‘I don’t belong here’. 

Chandler: I have decided that my best man is Gunther.

Gunther: What’s my last name?

Chandler: Central…Perk?

Monica: And the boots don’t really go with it.

Chandler: You said you paid all that money because those boots go with skirts, dresses and pants, what are you planning on wearing…. A chicken suit?

Joey: How about you Chandler? (Mock-rehearsing introducing oneself on a gameshow)

Chandler: Well Joey, I am a headhunter. I hook up out of work Soviet scientists with rogue third world nations. Hi Rasputin!

Joey: You have to spin the wheel or pick a google card.

Chandler: Ah wait…I don’t care!

What his death at the age of 54 has taught me however, is that no matter how successful or rich you may be, loneliness and depression can get at you at any point. Insecurity is not a malice that affects only the underdog, it is a reality that can stare you in the face even when you are a white American celebrity comic star making $1 million for one episode and earning royalty from it in your silver-grey years. You may date the hottest actresses of your age and yet fail to have one longstanding and healthy relationship that could sustain through the good and the bad times. Addiction is not a problem afflicting teenagers or those on the cusp of suicide. It is a kind of slow suicide that will drown you before you realise you can reach out for help. 

No matter the tragic end that befalls you when the world least expected it, we will still want to remember you for that moment you made us laugh, for that moment when you enabled us to turn our minds away from the tragic parts of our own lives and for that moment when you made us believe, ironically, that life was not worth taking too seriously and could indeed be summed up in a joke, cracked at its expense so that we could pick up the pieces and simply, move on. RIP Matthew Perry aka Chandler Bing.

The Pihona Diary: The Sister Act

 

650 × 920

When Pihu turned nine this year, she also decided to wear the garb of ‘big sister’ with more confidence. It meant she was more readily accepting of her new role (which comes with a lot of responsibility and day to day challenges) as I remind her often.  When I look back on my former decision to not have another child after Pihu, I realise it was going to turn to be a great injustice on her, suddenly plucked out of her birth country and shoved into the Australian scholastic landscape. At four years, when she joined preschool here in the cold and closeted atmosphere of Canberra, (Canberra is hardly a thriving city and more like a small, hilly town for big city dwellers) she was bound to be lost, lonely and struggling to come to terms with her peers. The accent was different, the curriculum vastly changed with the teachers’ proclivity towards more play-based learning than academic excellence. We were not so sure our docile, shy little girl would be able to handle so much so suddenly. From having no friends, no relatives and no homework from school, she would surely be bored to death in the long run unless we steered her through some heavy-duty play dating and extra-curricular activities. This of course can be both expensive and time-consuming for most parents, leaving no room to navigate through their own ever-growing to-do lists and little to non-existent social lives. 

Pihu has come such a long way since. Four years now in Canberra and she has a motley group of friends, works the Aussie accent like she was born in to it and has a plethora of hobbies adding to her list at home. Some of them include browsing melodies on Spotify on her headphones, writing poetry of Rabindranath Tagore and Sarojini Naidu in cursive (it’s poetry appreciation and handwriting practice rolled in to one, haha, clever me!), reciting and practising Hindi letters and numbers, creating art and craft whether it is a mere book mark or a book of illustrations, diamond painting or mindful colouring. Her growing love of books has now ensured she is reading over thirty books every year as per the last Chief Minister’s Reading Challenge.  She is also devouring Hindi films of the arty Amol Palekar to the popular mainstream Akshay Kumar cheek by jowl with her love for English animation flicks. Most people both Indian and Australian, find it amazing that she can speak in Hindi and Bengali besides being fluent in English even after moving overseas but I hardly think it is a big deal. Coming from a multi-lingual background, I feel knowing two-three languages that are spoken at home on a regular basis should be an organic process, although I must admit we have to cajole her in to giving more impetus to her native languages now that she is cosily enmeshed in the Anglicised academic and social milieu here in Australia. 

So where has a girl who has bloomed so much in the past four years since our India to Australia migration found the courage and understanding to embrace a new, tiny human in her life, amidst so many life-changing events happening simultaneously in her life- a new home, new school and new friends? Let’s say she has confirmed my instinct about her being a wonderful and tailor-made elder sibling. She has settled in to her role so effortlessly where I confess, she shows more patience and resilience than me when it comes to her tough to tackle little sibling. This is the proverbial Elsa and Anna story- where the eldest has to take on the title of Queen only to sacrifice and serve- the perfect foil for Anna, impulsive and unpredictable, feisty yet faithful. Vyona at two embodies the spirit of a tiger cub, at times angry, at times playful, demanding and stubborn, playing the game of life on her terms already and yet, pulling at her elder sister’s heartstrings, with all her adorable and funny antics. 

650 × 920Now that toddler Vyona has learnt to walk, talk and scamper around, she is able to make use of a very limited vocabulary to tell us exactly what she wants, how she wants it and when she wants it. She claims all her sister’s assets and property as hers and is very quick to turn her toys away from her sister’s prying hands until we compel her to share them with Pihu. While ‘cheeky’, ‘annoying’ and ‘messy’ are adjectives Pihu would readily associate with her tiny tot of a sister, she still offers her the warmest hugs, the biggest kisses and the protective shadow that only an elder sister can offer when she needs it. In time, I hope to see this tender loving relationship turn in to a mature, nurturing and mutually beneficial one- where we as parents can rest on our laurels, full of pride for our earthly possessions- these two gemstones that are sure to shine brighter with every passing year. 

The difference of seven years between the two sisters can be a tricky one and as I have always maintained, not one I recommend if you want siblings to be playmates while they are young. I am not complaining though, because having no social net of grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings and cousins to fall back on, my husband and I have our hands full at home as hands-on parents. At nine, Pihu is independent, kind and self-disciplined enough to understand why her sister probably needs more of our attention and care. She is able to help play a role in the development of Vyona’s communication and motor skills and is adept at taking care of her, if I turn my back to attend to a chore. I see a lot of Pihu in Vyona and yet, they are vastly different personalities and it is intriguing to see how their relationship pans out as they grow up together, while inadvertently influencing each other’s mental and emotional make-up and approach to life. 

All I pray for is the strength to be able to be half as good a mother as my own homemaker mum was. Knowing I have to juggle my professional commitments with two kids means I have it tougher and would still not have it, any other way. Parenting is impossibly punishing sometimes involving huge sacrifices and burning the midnight oil nursing your loved ones. It still makes me wonder how I committed to the role a second time but those heartwarming giggles from these two and the spontaneous cuddles they get up to would make anyone change their mind!

The Pihona Diary: Age of Innocence

 When I look back on Pihu’s old pictures through the time that she was a baby till date (she is 8 years old now), I can actually see how she has grown to build her own identity. Of course, while there are glimpses of her dad and me in her, she seems to be cultivating a new personality that is slowly gaining a firm footing. She will probably change much more through the progressive years that encompass the developmental milestones of adolescence to adulthood, but there are such strong traits emerging through her persona right now, it is hard to ignore them. All I want is for her to hold on to these years of innocence, where she is more inquisitive than knowledgeable, more curious than nonchalant, more honest, less diplomatic. It will mean I will also get to live out my childhood years as reflected through her  experiences vicariously. 

Now that we have a younger sibling to compare this personality growth chart with, it is very interesting to note the similarities as well as the differences in the two sisters. I remember Pihu being very shy and timid in her earlier years. This is a trait she holds dear till date, sometimes invoking much chagrin in us who only wish to see her bloom. While our elder one refuses to become more assertive and bolder, the younger one is coming across as a force to reckon with. Not only is she stubborn but also strong-willed. She can be all love and affection one moment, and quickly sport a tantrum at the drop of a hat only because she knows with all that adorable cuteness, she will get away with it.

They say, children especially siblings, living in close quarters will influence each other to an extent that they either complement or instigate. Vyona, my younger one is barely 18 months old but has managed to own the attention and affection of all and sundry, which means no one in the family or among ourfriends can say no to her. She is happy to bask in this self-entitled glory and is quick to take offence if not showered with sufficient amounts of adulation. At such a tender age, she exercises decision-making powers which include not eating or drinking water when she is told to, not sleeping alone if she doesn’t wish to and unfortunately for us, insisting on holding hands while walking when she is quite capable of doing so on her own. 

Pihu on the other hand, was much more malleable, less susceptible to shrieking if displeased or simply to cause a stir and less disruptive during solitary play. No wonder we thought as parents, we did this once and that seemed easy, how bad would it be a second time? Haha, so dear parents of future second-borns, may I raise a hand and alert you to what’s in store in case you thought it got easier with age and experience. Parenting skills is not on your CV. It is NOT something that you can work with exactly the same way you did before. Just like, apps and technologies upgrade themselves and sometimes need a complete overhaul before they can work in the current era, parenting evolves with every passing generation and with each child you bring in to this world. 

It takes guts to have a child, sheer patience to have another and a fat ounce of part ambition-part sadomasochism to have more. Pardon me for being so harshly judgemental but this is a mother who spent a weekend cleaning puke all over the house for her two kids and is now down with the same bug that caused it to happen in the first place. I will not even get in to what two children can do to set back your career if you were a highly-paid working woman who voluntarily decided to play good old mom and took an extended break to tend to your brood. 

At the tail-end of my thirties, I have one resolution down pat- I can’t let my desire to be more than just a mom linger at the bottom of a drained ditch. At the same time, I refuse to run myself to the ground trying to multitask and balance my work-life demands in a nuclear household. Tough ask eh? I am working my way through this one.

My children are my sunshine, they bring warmth and brightness to my life no matter how dull the day, or cloudy my mood may be. To observe them gain essential life-skills and build strong perspectives and opinions, make the right choices that will equip them to be more independent, intelligent and enlightened is a joy. My role in this is complex, encouraging them to take that wobbly step on their own and yet keep a watchful eye that they are on the right path and reach out a hand in case they need me. It is precious, this time I have with them, and I encourage you to spend as much time as you can as possible with your children from their birth to adolescence, it will seal your bond for life and make them realise you always have their back when they need you in stead of wandering lost and lonely.

THE PIHONA (PIHU & VYONA) DIARY- LOOK BACK IN WONDER!

Eternally Confused And Eager For Love: Eternally Dumb, No Sign of Love

If this badly-scripted drivel that Netflix has flushed out for us is passing muster for Gen Z programming these days, I don’t know who to doubt more, Netflix standards of gauging the generation’s taste for humour or the generation’s IQ level itself. Ray (Vihaan Samat) who oddly looks like he could be related to American actor Dev Patel, is a 24 year old privileged boy. He works in the lower ranking order of an investment firm, has rich parents who got him the job in the first place, and yet manages to get fired from the said job because of his juvenile ways. Characterised as a man-child, it would be an insult to call him that as the poorly written protagonist flounders between being an angsty, desperate, lust-filled teenager and shy, fumbling school boy who was obviously living in a cave in all his years of puberty. What could have made him endearing would be his unadulterated and candid innocence, naïveté and sheer helplessness and bad luck in the love and dating department. However, Ray manifests all those traits proving to be downright repulsive for a man of his age. He is constantly moping around and whinging to his imaginary friend Wiz who is disturbingly a fictional character he grew up with (another proof of him being stuck at the age of 13). The voice of actor Jim Sarbh for Wiz is given the huge task of stringing this puppet-like character along, which is a huge responsibility he botches up on regularly throughout the season’s eight episodes, enough for us to supposedly guffaw at Ray’s inherent flaws and weaknesses. Unfortunately, if we are finding comedy in a guy’s story that screams red flags indicating mental health issues, it doesn’t say much about our own sick minds and sadistic personalities. That’s not the end of our problems, as Suchitra Pillai and Rahul Bose pose as his parents who are seemingly detached but regularly appear to mollycoddle and pamper their befuddled, good-for-nothing brat. From finding him the next viable job to setting him up on a date, these folks have all the resources at their fingertips enough to add to the obvious ineptitude of their darling son. As a bonafide loser who sucks at everything, what makes a leading man still successful is when you give him solidly funny punch lines. Unfortunately, Vihaan as Ray has very little that he stands for and remains devoid of that one redeemable quality or characteristic that makes him worth your attention. I am still figuring out which part of him I find more detestable- fat shaming, ditching a girl on a date, wishing a date’s grandfather dead or hoping he doesn’t catch syphyllis by sharing a lift with an old man. Watch Never Have I Ever if you really want to see amateur romances and their dramatic highs and lows. For cool, upper crust, nuanced and definitely more entertaining fare, turn to Dil Dhadakne Do from the same Farhan Akhtar-Ritesh Sidhwani camp.

I admire your patience if you can live through the eight episodes of this series without inducing a headache. My rating? *1/2

Secrets of the Saqqara Tomb- Astounding Archaeological Adventure

 After 'My Octopus Teacher’ won Best Documentary Feature last year at the Oscars, Netflix raised the bar as far as the quality of documentary features go. That led me to find another gem that released the same year on Netflix, Secrets of the Saqqara Tomb. Now I am no Egyptologist and my knowledge of archaeology may be as dry as a desert, but that doesn’t mar my fascination to discover the buried secrets of Egypt’s dead. In fact, it draws me to watch everything tomb-related. So exploring the secrets of the Saqqara Tomb came naturally and what I stumbled upon as a viewer were precious moments of exploration, excavation and excitement. Through the documentary, we are presented with parallel stories as a motley bunch of experts- archaeologists, historians, masters of language and script and osteologists reconstruct a different reality, lived 4,400 years ago. What they unearth is a treasure trove that generations of Egypt’s archaeologists have been unable to do- reveal the Saqqara Tomb that houses the hidden secrets of a high-ranked priest called Wahtye and his family’s mysterious deaths. Several ornate coffins and tombs are pulled out of the layers of sand and limestone under the pyramids. Workers toil in the heat of the sun breaking their backs to carefully dig out articles of daily use like games people played in the 12-13th century, artefacts and antiques shaped like cats and a beautiful sculpture of a lion. Excavators carefully climb down deep and suffocating shafts to fish out entire mummies and scattered skeletons. Particularly gripping is the discovery of a well-preserved mummified animal among heaps of domesticated and deified cat mummies that turns out to be the first lion ever to have existed in Egypt! Delicately spread out over an elaborate course of over two hours, we are able to enjoy an immersive experience of a lifetime that spells definitive results for the archaeological history and scientific advancements of Egypt. Usually a documentary of this nature could end up feeling very clinical, dull and ruminative, what sets the documentary apart is its ability to keep the viewers focused on the progress of each excavation while adding a human angle of the thrill and achievement of its ultimate discovery. The search for the deepest and darkest tales of erstwhile dynasties and generations demands an extremely exhausting level of passion, commitment and hard work that sets locals apart from the distant foreigner who may trip upon Egypt’s pyramids. Seeing Egypt through the indigenous perspective helps give a rich emotional context to the proceedings, we are as invested and nervous about the results as the researchers, who shrug off the sweat and toil as long as it gives them a chance to witness or get in touch with their history. British documentary director James Tovell gives us a piece of precious ancient Egypt, unravelled by modern Egyptians for whom these findings leave an indelible mark just like the hieroglyphs in the inner sanctum of the pyramids, often life-changing and unforgettable.