The Pihona Diary: The Sister Act

 

650 × 920

When Pihu turned nine this year, she also decided to wear the garb of ‘big sister’ with more confidence. It meant she was more readily accepting of her new role (which comes with a lot of responsibility and day to day challenges) as I remind her often.  When I look back on my former decision to not have another child after Pihu, I realise it was going to turn to be a great injustice on her, suddenly plucked out of her birth country and shoved into the Australian scholastic landscape. At four years, when she joined preschool here in the cold and closeted atmosphere of Canberra, (Canberra is hardly a thriving city and more like a small, hilly town for big city dwellers) she was bound to be lost, lonely and struggling to come to terms with her peers. The accent was different, the curriculum vastly changed with the teachers’ proclivity towards more play-based learning than academic excellence. We were not so sure our docile, shy little girl would be able to handle so much so suddenly. From having no friends, no relatives and no homework from school, she would surely be bored to death in the long run unless we steered her through some heavy-duty play dating and extra-curricular activities. This of course can be both expensive and time-consuming for most parents, leaving no room to navigate through their own ever-growing to-do lists and little to non-existent social lives. 

Pihu has come such a long way since. Four years now in Canberra and she has a motley group of friends, works the Aussie accent like she was born in to it and has a plethora of hobbies adding to her list at home. Some of them include browsing melodies on Spotify on her headphones, writing poetry of Rabindranath Tagore and Sarojini Naidu in cursive (it’s poetry appreciation and handwriting practice rolled in to one, haha, clever me!), reciting and practising Hindi letters and numbers, creating art and craft whether it is a mere book mark or a book of illustrations, diamond painting or mindful colouring. Her growing love of books has now ensured she is reading over thirty books every year as per the last Chief Minister’s Reading Challenge.  She is also devouring Hindi films of the arty Amol Palekar to the popular mainstream Akshay Kumar cheek by jowl with her love for English animation flicks. Most people both Indian and Australian, find it amazing that she can speak in Hindi and Bengali besides being fluent in English even after moving overseas but I hardly think it is a big deal. Coming from a multi-lingual background, I feel knowing two-three languages that are spoken at home on a regular basis should be an organic process, although I must admit we have to cajole her in to giving more impetus to her native languages now that she is cosily enmeshed in the Anglicised academic and social milieu here in Australia. 

So where has a girl who has bloomed so much in the past four years since our India to Australia migration found the courage and understanding to embrace a new, tiny human in her life, amidst so many life-changing events happening simultaneously in her life- a new home, new school and new friends? Let’s say she has confirmed my instinct about her being a wonderful and tailor-made elder sibling. She has settled in to her role so effortlessly where I confess, she shows more patience and resilience than me when it comes to her tough to tackle little sibling. This is the proverbial Elsa and Anna story- where the eldest has to take on the title of Queen only to sacrifice and serve- the perfect foil for Anna, impulsive and unpredictable, feisty yet faithful. Vyona at two embodies the spirit of a tiger cub, at times angry, at times playful, demanding and stubborn, playing the game of life on her terms already and yet, pulling at her elder sister’s heartstrings, with all her adorable and funny antics. 

650 × 920Now that toddler Vyona has learnt to walk, talk and scamper around, she is able to make use of a very limited vocabulary to tell us exactly what she wants, how she wants it and when she wants it. She claims all her sister’s assets and property as hers and is very quick to turn her toys away from her sister’s prying hands until we compel her to share them with Pihu. While ‘cheeky’, ‘annoying’ and ‘messy’ are adjectives Pihu would readily associate with her tiny tot of a sister, she still offers her the warmest hugs, the biggest kisses and the protective shadow that only an elder sister can offer when she needs it. In time, I hope to see this tender loving relationship turn in to a mature, nurturing and mutually beneficial one- where we as parents can rest on our laurels, full of pride for our earthly possessions- these two gemstones that are sure to shine brighter with every passing year. 

The difference of seven years between the two sisters can be a tricky one and as I have always maintained, not one I recommend if you want siblings to be playmates while they are young. I am not complaining though, because having no social net of grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings and cousins to fall back on, my husband and I have our hands full at home as hands-on parents. At nine, Pihu is independent, kind and self-disciplined enough to understand why her sister probably needs more of our attention and care. She is able to help play a role in the development of Vyona’s communication and motor skills and is adept at taking care of her, if I turn my back to attend to a chore. I see a lot of Pihu in Vyona and yet, they are vastly different personalities and it is intriguing to see how their relationship pans out as they grow up together, while inadvertently influencing each other’s mental and emotional make-up and approach to life. 

All I pray for is the strength to be able to be half as good a mother as my own homemaker mum was. Knowing I have to juggle my professional commitments with two kids means I have it tougher and would still not have it, any other way. Parenting is impossibly punishing sometimes involving huge sacrifices and burning the midnight oil nursing your loved ones. It still makes me wonder how I committed to the role a second time but those heartwarming giggles from these two and the spontaneous cuddles they get up to would make anyone change their mind!