A comic candle extinguished.

 

Matthew Perry was a household name in India during my school years. I still remember our slam books and coy conversations around who we thought would make the ideal boyfriend, the perfect husband and the fun hangout friend among Chandler, Ross and Joey with mine coming up strictly in that order. I can only therefore imagine the madness these guys must have invoked in the US among countless fans of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Secretly, we all wanted to have this whole gang of goofy, crazy and at the end of the day, faithful bunch of comrades who were more family than friends. The relationship they shared matured with time as each got more serious and yet made us laugh and cry, sometimes within the same episode. 

Even today, a good couple of decades after my college years, every time the iconic song by The Rembrandts ‘I’ll be there for you’ plays, it gives me a heady rush of nostalgia, taking me back to the good old times of the ‘90s, when friends meant hanging out together at a cafe for no rhyme or reason and conversations revolved around picking on a favourite topic to argue over or just chide a pal playfully about his/her pet peeve. Ah, the wonder years.

So why did Chandler stand out for me so much? Apart from the fact that the guy always had his friends’ backs, whether it was nursing Ross through his break up with Rachel or throwing the odd treat for his flatmate Joey who was always broke, this man was the stuff of my friendship goals. Besides, he had the best lines in the house! 

Take Chandler out of the show, and it’s just a bunch of headless chickens without perspective because that is what he did for the others- put things in perspective with a generous dose of his bitter sarcasm. Where was it all rooted? May be his shame over having a father who had opted for a sex change and turned in to a woman who now dressed and performed drag, may be it was from having a mother who was more promiscuous than he could handle, may be it was from the fact that he couldn’t imagine sharing his embarrassingly ludicrous surname with a wife, may be it was because he worked in a job no one could describe right, may be it was his soul that was broken from his mournful dating abilities, may be it came from a place of hitting rock bottom after dating a woman called Janice with that annoying nasal twang. Who knows? All we know is he was the man I would want to hang out with after a break up, the man I would watch Baywatch with and hoot at the men while he lusted for Pamela, he would be the man standing next to me at the altar when I put my hand out to my bride, he would be the man whose shoulder I would cry happy tears on after my baby was born and he would definitely be the guy I would share my Christmas dinner with over a glass of white, reminiscing the year that was and guffawing over it. 

Why am I so convinced? Have you checked the guy’s regular caffeine-infused dose of sarcasm? If there was a singular award dedicated to Best Sarcastic Actor on the Planet EVER, it would go to this character- hook, line and sinker, yes ma’am. Arrrghh! You still don’t get it, do you? Do I have to be clearer than that? And if you are one of those philistines who never got to watching even one episode of the world’s best sitcom show, excuse me, what are you doing on this post, errr…I mean on this planet? Anyway, those ones with the rapid memory loss, I’ll just leave you with these gems to prove my point.

Ross: I can’t believe you two had s** in her dream.

Chandler: I’m sorry, it was a one time thing and it was someone else’s subconscious.

Joey’s much older GF: There is a little child inside this man.

Chandler: Yes, the doctors say if they remove it, he will die. 

Joey: You are smoking again?

Chandler: Actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today, I am smoking still. 

Monica: Guys, what should I wear to a Knicks game?

Chandler: A t shirt that says ‘I don’t belong here’. 

Chandler: I have decided that my best man is Gunther.

Gunther: What’s my last name?

Chandler: Central…Perk?

Monica: And the boots don’t really go with it.

Chandler: You said you paid all that money because those boots go with skirts, dresses and pants, what are you planning on wearing…. A chicken suit?

Joey: How about you Chandler? (Mock-rehearsing introducing oneself on a gameshow)

Chandler: Well Joey, I am a headhunter. I hook up out of work Soviet scientists with rogue third world nations. Hi Rasputin!

Joey: You have to spin the wheel or pick a google card.

Chandler: Ah wait…I don’t care!

What his death at the age of 54 has taught me however, is that no matter how successful or rich you may be, loneliness and depression can get at you at any point. Insecurity is not a malice that affects only the underdog, it is a reality that can stare you in the face even when you are a white American celebrity comic star making $1 million for one episode and earning royalty from it in your silver-grey years. You may date the hottest actresses of your age and yet fail to have one longstanding and healthy relationship that could sustain through the good and the bad times. Addiction is not a problem afflicting teenagers or those on the cusp of suicide. It is a kind of slow suicide that will drown you before you realise you can reach out for help. 

No matter the tragic end that befalls you when the world least expected it, we will still want to remember you for that moment you made us laugh, for that moment when you enabled us to turn our minds away from the tragic parts of our own lives and for that moment when you made us believe, ironically, that life was not worth taking too seriously and could indeed be summed up in a joke, cracked at its expense so that we could pick up the pieces and simply, move on. RIP Matthew Perry aka Chandler Bing.