Wednesday, 9 November 2016

The Pihu Diary: Conversation Bloopers for a Recently Turned Mom

So you have a kid now and you are wondering about the last time you had a decent meal, looked in the mirror properly and had a full night’s sleep. Actually, my advice is even if you do manage to glance at a mirror, pat yourself on the back for the woman who stares back at you. She is a reflection of how well you are doing your new job after all. So I am one of those who is immensely proud of the new responsibilities I have managed to get on top of. At the same time, I am also sufficiently humbled by how little a difference it makes because there is always  so much more to do. A little support along the way goes miles in making every day lighter and generally more manageable. 

What you need at the end of the day, is that word of encouragement, that kind look that says all is right with the world, and the satisfaction of having put in your best effort to bring up your child. On the other hand, what fails me is the indefatigable urge that some people have in killing your joy with the power of their unbridled, unguarded speech that most often, ticks me off my boat. So here’s a random listing of comments that people around you are most likely to make now that you have a kid of your own, who they now have the authority to talk about. In stead of a conversation starter, this usually ends up receiving a stone-cold silence, at least from my end because well, one good thing motherhood teaches you is ‘endurance’. That doesn’t stop me from muttering a few comebacks under my breath, generously spiced up with a few expletives I dare not mention here as the epitome of err...good motherhood!

Your daughter doesn’t look anything like you.
Yeah, sometimes I doubt she is really mine and if they simply, thrust her in to my lap, and declared that I take care of her all my life.

Whoa, you still wearing your maternity gowns?
No idiot, it’s my post-pregnancy weight and I’m wearing plus size clothes to cut the flab and because it’s just easier to be clothed this way!

Are you planning a second kid?
Yeah, because the reason I live is so that you have enough kids of mine to talk about.

You know, my kid is already reciting Shakespeare. Isn’t your child talking yet?
No, she isn’t and when she does, I’m most likely to teach her to tell you to ‘get lost’ in that many words.

Are those dark circles under your eyes or is it smudged kajal from last night’s do?
Err...you will know after I have socked you in the eye. Which one should it be, left or right?

Your kid is old enough, why don’t you go get a job? I mean, who plays stay-at-home mom in this day and age? Go feminism!!
Did it occur to you that I probably am empowered to make the choice and deliberately choose to do so for MY happiness?

Your kid is so young, don’t you think you need to give her more time to grow up before you go out to work again?
Classic guilt-trip scenario. These very people will be asking you the question mentioned above this one in a few months in to your hibernation and just when you start to enjoy it.

You are not a good mommy unless you can bake a good cake...breast feed your child...give her enough protein shakes...get her a smartphone at 10...buy her a limo at 18...send her abroad for higher education...
Yeah, and you are the last word on yardsticks of measurement for a good mother because...Mother Teresa entrusted you with that role?


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