Big Ticket to Hollywood

Remember that song from Jhoom Barabar Jhoom? It depicted a ruffian-like Abhishek Bachchan trying very hard to talk the sophisticated Lara Dutta in to giving him his ‘Ticket to Hollywood.’ Well, Bachchan Jr. may still be waiting for his chance but many others including his iconic dad and global diva wife have already been there, done that. No matter how big these stars may be here in Bollywood, they definitely weren’t the first to start the trend. If one is to be kind and rewind back to the past, actors like Victor Banerjee were already making it big with directors like James Ivory way back in 1978. In fact, a little nugget for those of you who swear by Hollywood and feel pride at its Indian connection- this Calcutta-born actor even won the BAFTA for his role as Dr. Aziz Ahmed in David Lean’s film A Passage to India in 1986. Not only this, he went on to star in Roman Polanksi’s Bitter Moon in 1992.

Soonafter, the likes of Kabir Bedi and Gulshan Grover made their way to LA and bagged noticeable roles. People may remember Bedi star in a James Bond film Octopussy, while Grover’s claim to fame remain films like 'The Second Jungle Book', 'Prisoners Of The Sun', 'Cape Karma', 'Nephilim', 'Honour Killing', We're No Monks", Italian movie 'Les Mysteres de Sadjurah', 'Blind Ambition', 'Sweet Amerika' 'I Am Kalam' and 'My Bollywood Bride'. Even our own Om Puri aka Mogambo khush hua when he was applauded on essaying the demonic character of Mola Ram in the adventure series Indian Jones and The Temple of Doom made famous by Harrison Ford.

It’s not just the badass boys of Bollywood that have made a mark overseas. Largely known as arthouse veterans Naseeruddin Shah seen in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Om Puri in films like City of Joy, My Son The Fanatic, East is East, Wolf, Ghost and the Darkness and Charlie Wilson’s War have been making a memorable impact with their powerful roles. Anupam Kher has been taking his cut of the pie with films like Bend it Like Beckham and Silver Linings Playbook under his belt.  Taking the legacy forward have been talented and nuanced actors like Tabu and Irrfan Khan in films like The Namesake and Life of Pi. Irrfan in fact has become the new poster boy for significant roles in Hollywood in film after film like Jurassic World, Slumdog Millionaire, A Mighty Heart and has recently created a furore by turning down a Steven Spielberg film. 

The surprise package has been Anil Kapoor who shot his way to the Oscars with his very first American film Slumdog Millionaire which has paved his way to an alternate career.  So far so good. But like any trend that catches on like wild fire, there is a point when in the bid to not be left behind, every second eager beaver joins the race to international fame, often resulting in falling flat on his/her face and causing sizeable embarrassment on his/her videshi histrionics back home. So while Bollywood’s newest imports and pretty ladies Priyanka Chopra and Deepike Padukone go neck to neck in proving their talent on international shores with the movie version of Baywatch and The Return of Xander Cage respectively, I would like to make you wary of celebrating their victory before actually watching their films and judging their worth in these films for yourself. You can charge me for being a cynic but these few wonderful examples will tell you why I am not blowing the trumpet yet!

Amitabh Bachchan: Yes yes, he got to rub shoulders with Leonardo Dicaprio and Toby Maguire in a Baz Luhrmann film that is a classic adaptation of F Scott Fitzgerald’s edgy take on the supposedly ebullient lives of the rich and the famous. But what was this legendary star doing in this film that could not have been done by any other lesser known actor?

Aishwarya Rai Bachchan: And how can beautiful bahu be left behind when it comes to taking the bait when Hollywood beckons? So our mersmerising diva has not only been the face behind international brands like Loreal and taken a coveted seat among the jury at Cannes Film Festival but also sought to prove she is not just a dolled up beauty queen with a spate of films like The Pink Panther 2', 'Bride and Prejudice’, ‘Mistress of Spices’ and ‘Provoked'. However, she earned more brickbats than credit for her flat performances in most of them, questioning the whole idea of Indian actors earning roles through merit or pure good luck/PR.

Mallika Sherawat: She played Samantha err…an Indian peasant girl in The Myth starring Jackie Chan and more than the role, it was the slit in her gown and the bosom-popping gowns she strutted in at Cannes that got talked about. Of course, this whippersnapper of a star has even gone on to meet US President Barrack Obama on the back of her film Politics of Love.  She claims to be the first Bollywood actor to have ever met the US President. Don’t blame the President if he has banned watching Hindi films in the White House.

Frieda Pinto: She may have starred in many a film post her Oscar tryst with Slumdog Millionaire but what I fail to still understand is what has given her that privilege? Give me a Frieda and I will give you 10 more talented actors who could fit the bill. And mind you I have nothing against her but am still waiting to see a film of worth that makes me say, now that’s an award-winning performance right there!

Let me know if I have missed out on any name. It would be nice if Indian actors don’t just bite the big apple and instead choose to look beyond stereo-typical blink and you miss roles as well. Speaking of which, what exactly was Sonam Kapoor thinking when she decided to wear those horribly mismatched clothes and appear for a second in the Coldplay video ‘Hymn for the Weekend’? I guess that’s a topic that reels in a whole new debate so I will hold my peace for now. 

The Pihu Diary: Pitter Patter…and we all fall down!

Pihu is up and running about these days. She realises that this is the time of her life when she has to make up for all that time that she was subjected to lying on a bed for over 15 hours a day sleeping away to glory. So she is in a desperate hurry to discover all the things she was kept away from. No no, she isn’t exactly raiding my wardrobe yet to wear my clothes but more for throwing the contents of it around. Prohibited items and particularly soiled ones ignite newfound curiosity so that her dad’s shoes and the diaper bin are special items of discovery that pique her interest.

She has also developed  a sense of assertiveness and diligence which would be nice at the work place one day, but not when that is employed towards sitting down on a cold marble floor and pulling off her socks and shoes to run amok on naked feet.

There was a time when Pihu used to sleep through half a movie in a theatre and munch popcorn through the other half. Now she bawls the moment the lights are out and the Dolby stereo booms on her eardrums. Lesson learnt: No movies for her before she turns errr…3 may be?!

She has a sharp sense of like and dislike. So what she likes go in her toy box. What she doesn’t or has no more need for goes in to the waste paper bin. So much for being organised.

She also happens to have taken PM Modi’s Swacch Bharat Andolan very seriously. Charity after all begins at home, and the moment she can get her hands on a napkin or piece of rag, she starts dusting almost everything near at hand. From floors, walls, furniture, kitchen racks, refrigerator, closets…(you get the drift), no speck of dust escapes her eye so that by the end of it, there’s nothing left to wipe except her mouth which she does generously with the same cloth…if left unhindered.

She insists on helping us dress by instructing us on what to wear when from a pile of clothes. Another favourite chore is picking out clothes from the washing basket, selecting one to wear around her neck or pull over the head and walk with a stately gait.

Sitting under my work desk and grabbing my leg to count my toes is another of her pastimes. Hence to say Pihu keeps me on my toes these days would be no exaggeration.

Recently, she even locked me in the bathroom. It freaked me out because there was no one at home and all she could do was cry out from the outside as she couldn’t figure out how to unlatch it. It took some timely yelling for help through my bathroom window and a neighbour breaking in to my house through the back door that saved the day for us. Needless to say, Pihu is providing a lot of drama in my life.

Becoming a parent increasingly makes you vulnerable to the point that you don’t know how to protect your kid from every kind of danger. No matter how careful you are, there will always be that miniscule chance of a slip-up which is sure unnerving. It makes you feel really vulnerable to circumstances given the immense responsibility you bear for a tiny soul.

Pihu’s sheer brightness and that winning smile however reassures me that it is all worth it.

Of hearts and heart breakers

What happens when you put together a plot, characters and director? A film. But what happens when you add a star pairing that lights up the screen every time they come together? A romance. That’s a theory that the Hindi film industry has been milking dry for eons now. Every film given the odd action thriller is geared towards throwing a couple together and depicting the throes of passion, the disappointment of heartbreak and the triumph of love, in film after film, willing the box office to favour the chemistry and turn the pairing in to the next big thing. Unfortunately, not everyone makes it to the top. In fact, some including real-to-reel life pairings like that of Ajay-Kajol, Saif-Kareena and Ranbir-Katrina have even failed to excite movie-goers to give their films a decent opening.

So what is it about SRK-Kajol that people can’t get enough of? And why was it so exciting to have Deepika and Ranbir repeat their casting in Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani or the recent Tamasha that got the country’s youth rooting for them? We don’t know why but the truth is, a love story is not just one because it narrates a plot we want to be part of, but because it makes us identify characters we want to become, or at least root for. So here’s a rundown of love stories that turned reel romances in to the stuff of dreams, making these couples so memorable that even after all these years, we just can’t seem to get enough of them.

Now all we need to do is get a filmmaker to cast them in an eternal love story again!

Amitabh Rekha They ruled the box-office and people’s hearts for the good part of the ‘70s and ‘80s. Acting enthusiasts till date are given their example and their scenes to enact to be able to capture a fraction of what this reel couple could bring out on screen. Pick up any film they starred in and you will recall memorable scenes from Muqaddar ka Sikandar or the controversial Silsila. It is difficult to pinpoint what feels so mersmerising and believable- the raw passion in their eyes or the way they seemed to be engaging in a soulful repartee. It all seemed to draw the viewer in and make him believe this was it! A true text in star couple charisma, that baritone voice and that sultry drawl is something that is too evergreen to be forgotten in a hurry.

Anil Kapoor Madhuri Dixit from Tezaab to Pukar, from Beta to Jamai Raja, these two have sparkled on screen, matching acting chops and every dance move, perfectly in sync. Sometimes it is hard to believe that they were last seen only in 2000. It’s been 15 years since. Anil is fresh from his stints in Hollywood and television appearances in the US, he’s never looked younger and Madhuri is raring to go ever since her return back to India. What are we waiting for?!

Salman-Aishwarya Yes, yes, so she got married, he went on to reclaim superstardom with every film since then and life couldn’t look better for Sallu bhai, but the truth is no co-star has had the same effect on this macho man. Go watch Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam to see what I am talking about. They never did a film before this and neither after but Sameer’s unwavering pining and Nandini’s feisty effort to get him back in her life have often nursed the tender heart of a jilted lover. The good news is Ash is back post marriage and motherhood and what these two could do with a love story is something every filmmaker of some worth should think about.

Aamir Juhi In film after film, this star couple has not only proved that they are capable of matching wits but also their comic timing. Their career graph shows their rise, from the sheer innocence of doomed teenage love in Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak to the rib-tickling light-heartedness of Hum Hain Rahi Pyar Ke. Both have established themselves as actors who can bite in to a mean role with much zeal. All they need is a matured love story that reminds one that when it comes to romance, time and age are really no bar.

Yes Boss!

Like them, love the, loathe them. They are here to stay! All of us who have entered the professional sphere at some point in our lives have encountered them. I know people who dread switching jobs because they have this deep-seated fear that their next boss may just turn out to be worse than the present one. No matter how well placed you are to hold the post offered by a prestigious or start-up company, what you cannot guarantee is how compatible you will be with your new boss. Although having given many an interview, I have learnt to judge these ubiquitous office entities early on, there is no way of judging how things may turn out eventually once you actually work with them. I mark 10 years of my work experience this year and somehow, when I look back and reflect on the whole journey, one thing that stands out is the camaraderie I share with some of my bosses and how wonderfully they have contributed to the learnings I have imbibed through them.

I was lucky enough to get an extremely cool woman as one of my foremost bosses quite early in my career. It was my first spate with hard core entertainment broadcast journalism. Although I was put under another immediate boss by her, my true tryst with the fun part of work started only when I was moved to work directly on her pet project- a weekend entertainment show on prime time news television. What differentiates a great boss from an average one is her ability to make you learn without throwing her weight and knowledge around at every given opportunity, which sort of smothers the confidence and freedom of imagination that a newbie might bring to the table. My understanding of her stature came from the way she dealt with the toughest of situations, her quick fix solutions to the biggest of crises and an unwavering charm that overpowered every distress call we faced at work. Being calm under pressure was an art she had mastered, in fact, making a seemingly tense situation humorous was her forte. Needless to say, no one in her team ever wished to work with any other boss and her exit was mourned over as much as the editorial tutelage that we missed after she left the organisation.

Famous Last Line:

Me: But there is just no way we are going to find a celebrity within the next one day to fill this slot in the show.

She: We will handle it. There is always a solution to the worst of problems. All we need to do is turn around the bend and look for it.

My next memorable mentor happened to transport me in to a world of art and its management. A living breathing legend of the theatre community herself, adulation and admiration for her craft, expertise and body of work was a given, no matter who she met. She could draw people to meet her just by her name and with the random message, “need to discuss an idea”. But what really marked her out for me, is her ability to switch from her free-thinking artistic sensibilities to become the meticulous director of all the programmes we conceptualised and executed. Her passion for her job was such that she could often be found fiddling with pencils, paper and rulers, etching out strategies, schedules and marking calenders for a new POA. Her time was defined to a point where she knew whom she would need to meet four weeks from now or which call she needed to make a month later in tandem with the events calendar we needed to maintain and adhere to. Sitting for a chat with her was as educational as it was fun, with her using anecdotes from a time bygone when she was in the heat of producing her best work till date and at the same time, sharing her excitement of a new production we would set in motion in coming days. I have seen young directors half her age sit enraptured and all ears at this woman’s words, with no semblance of a generation gap. That is the beauty of art, it transcends age, culture and status. It helped me open my eyes to a world full of possibilities, creative energies and artistic crescendo. Her oldest peon used to tell me how she is as nifty a homemaker as she is at work, managing the kitchen, household chores and her maids with effortless ease. And all this at the ripe old age of 73! Actually I take my words back, ‘old’ seems like an insult to the grace, charm, intelligence and zeal she personified.

Me: We have a huge event calendar ahead Ma’am. How will we possibly manage to get 6 large scale events on the floor within the next two months?

She: We will. Let’s start by planning backwards.

(By the end of this exercise, I knew precisely which call to make and who to meet with today to lead up to the main event two months later!)

I had no experience of PR or having worked in a start-up before I joined this particular agency. Also delving in to a job that needed me to work in such a set up in an alien city meant that I was biting more than I could chew. One week in to the job and I was already thinking I would treat myself if I could survive the disparately functional culture in this new place for even six months. Today I have done myself proud by sailing steady for over 3 years and counting. This despite several life changes including moving cities, becoming a mother et al. A major factor that has aided my longevity is my boss’ faith in my skills, experience and ability to tackle my responsibilities efficiently without needing to breathe down my neck. It is here that I realised that the reason I have been able to flourish and grow as a professional and person is the space I was allowed to thrive in. Taking key decisions, being valued for my inputs and consulted for crucial occasions instilled in me trust and security. At the same time, what has been delightful is the approachability and comfort that a boss who also owns a company exudes when an employee of any status wishes to confide in him. This has made me understand how important it is to not lose your head to arrogance and ego when you reign your kingdom. The ability to stay grounded despite the highs helps a person become invincible in the face of a crisis that tries to bring you down. And for this life lesson, I am indebted to my boss. I have also learnt that learning to appreciate is important, and expressing that appreciation from time to time is even more important.

E: On any suggestion I may have taken till date…

B: If you see no problem to the company in taking this decision, we don’t see why we should not trust you on it.

Comedy Bytes on TV- Ep 1

If you have no sense of humour, there is no point of watching TV these days. Because the real joy of watching anything out there is to find excuses to laugh over. With the dearth of real good comedy on Indian TV (ya, ya…I don’t dig Comedy Circus and the like), I make do with random stuff I come across. Read on and share a giggle/smirk if you agree:

Sonam Kapoor in the latest Loreal ad trying to convince me that I am worth it. The accent and the drawl of her speech. Glossy glossy.

Aishwarya Rai trying to get eyeballs with a kick ass role (literally not otherwise) in a Sanjay Gupta film of all things. Also, trying to look extremely sleek and slender with black overalls. Sheesh. I hope All Iz Well.

Imtiaz Ali and so many directors before and after him who are milking the Ranbir-Deepika ex-romance and still hot chemistry for their romcoms and love stories. And the ex-couple having no qualms of making a ‘tamasha’ out of that sparkling flame.

Abbas Mastan trying their hand at C-grade comedy after an A-grade thriller like Race 2. Kapil Sharma, the guys at Colours called. They want their hassee ka badshah back.

Imran Khan managing to always sneak away with the excuse that ‘the film didn’t quite turn out the way I thought it would’ to overshadow his non-performance as an actor.

Lara Dutta having debuted with Akshay Kumar at one point of time now reduced to her role in Singh is Bling starring him.

That we are still singing Prem Ratan Dhan Paayo in today’s day and age. And that Salman still kills it as Prem.

That Badshah and Yo Yo Honey Singh look and sound the same with every new song and YET set the music charts ablaze with every new single.

Rimi Sen on Bigg Boss 9 saying she is on the show to make friends because she has none in the world outside. Hahahahaha.

The Pihu Diary: A World of Discoveries Through The Eyes of a 1 Year Old

When Pihu turned one, we were joyous with the milestone. Like most parents. Pihu meanwhile couldn’t figure what the big deal was. She was being pampered, given more attention than she could handle, was randomly moved around among a splay of arms, embraces and laps. Was smothered with kisses and cajoled into listening to random babytalk by people all around. All she relished were the bits of cake she managed to lick off my fingers and her first night out doing disco with her Dad on a dancefloor.

She also mastered the art of perching her little buns on a baby seat, wearing a napkin around her neck and picking on her choice of finger food- slices of cucumber and tomatoes which she daintily ate with little care of what the world was upto. All was well till we realised that she was now going to need to stretch those legs very soon. And get her hands dirty on everything she could pick, rub, mash, smash, crush, break, press or touch. It all began with her crawling all over the floor and taking an odd fascination for slippers and shoes which she loves to slip her nimble hands into. Yeah, not something to be proud of.  To her defence, she has also developed a strange fascination for books, journals, magazines, any sort of reading material. It doesn’t even have to have pictures. Nothing beats the glee of having that crisp morning newspaper in hand, flipping through the pages and discovering the happenings of the day. Discovery being the catch word here.

My little button-sized daughter has begun to read already in her head. Before you start dismissing her as a nerd by the way, let me warn you. She loves grooving to lively music as well. I have also caught her smiling at some people on TV, almost as if she understands what they say and finds it mildly amusing.

Her speech may be monosyllabic and inarticulate to most but mind you, she has a mind of her own when it comes to taking instructions or placing an opinion. A handful of expressions and gestures are used time and again for more emphasis. Modulating her voice to show distaste or indicate sleep, boredom or happiness is also something she is mastering right now.

Do not mistake her curiosity to know everything as a bait to lure her with something though. She will not go to you just because you find her cute or call out to her. She likes to take her time over approving her company.  She may smile at you and watch you from a distance, but don’t get too close for comfort or cuddly, our little lady likes to keep a distance till she is sure she can trust you.

Pihu loves dogs. She loves lights. She loves the outdoors. And simply adores her Mom and Dad. She wants to run before she can walk steadily and sing before she can talk coherently. Slow down kid, we want to watch you grow without losing out on these precious days of freedom, mirth and love without a care!

The Pihu Diary: The Agony Inducing Aunts

The amount of badmouthing and foreboding that these aunties do can give AIB competition! And if you are a new mother, then you know exactly what I am talking about. So everyone from the woman in the metro to an overtly interfering neighbour, your own chachi to the woman who sells you incense sticks…everyone has an opinion on the new member in your life- your new born kid. And no matter how many books and baby knowledge centres and clubs you are privy to, they will shun all that you know, and insist on being the voice of Divine Providence, sent down on earth to rescue your ignoramus brain from the clutches of common sense.

Here are a few tips, tirades and travails I have been subjected to:

You are going to have a baby now. Time to start eating lots of ghee. It will help the baby grow fat and healthy.
Your baby is born now. She is not fat which means she is NOT healthy.
You are not putting on too much weight which means you are not fat which means you are NOT healthy.
You are pregnant. Wait till you get those nausea pangs. The first three months will kill your appetite if not make you sick to the core.
If you had a smooth first trimester, oh you don’t even know the hardest part yet. Wait till the seventh month when your baby starts kicking in the night and you start having sleepless nights and anxiety pangs.
You are in your ninth month. Oh, you don’t know what’s coming. Normal deliveries are the most painful way you could have a kid. The labour pain may just last for more than a day. You could go unconscious in the midst of labour or the baby may not be in the right position. But make sure the only way you have the delivery is normal. All the best with the pain :D
C section? Are you insane? Is the doctor insane? No way. It is the most painful way to have a baby. You will have a paunch and those ugly staple marks to show for life. And back aches, and migraines.
Your baby is born. Get ready to suffer sleepless nights when you got to get up every two hours to feed.
What?? Your baby is not toilet trained at 1 already? Take her to the loo every half an hour. She doesn’t want to piss. Make her. Make these ‘ssss’ sounds.
Keep the baby without diapers. So what if she is soiling the bed? A diaper free baby means more work and that is exactly what you have signed up for, new mommy! :D
Is she teething? Prepare for runny diapers and feverish babies crying out in the middle of the night.
She is a toddler and is walking away to glory. Ah, you think you have crossed the bridge, do you? Wait till she starts going to school and coming back with lice, the common cold and even scratches from a fight.
If after reading these helpful nuggets of AIA wisdom, you still look forward to the so-called joys of parenthood, you have passed the test. After all, what is gain without pain? Right?

PS. I have kept away from the superstitions and rites of passage I was asked to be part of because all that is another story altogether.