When Nature Beckoned!

The planning of a getaway happened a month ago thanks to the promise of a long weekend coming up. Right from the start though, it was like it was never meant to be. Ever planned a holiday for ages only to see it never take off and crumble bit by bit even before it started! Yeah so that’s pretty much how we started the journey of a motley group of six. Four guys and two girls we were, and there was hardly anyone left in our known contacts we didn’t tag to go along with us! Several rejections, cancellations and disappointments later we were reduced to half a dozen youthful enthusiasts ready to take on adventure, no matter the trials and tribulations. It’s probably this zest that helped us get through the trip as we were to see soon enough and thank God for it! 

Our preparation was bang on. Scouting for places, fixing up an itinerary, estimating a budget, finding cheap accommodation, discussing the essentials to carry on the trip- we were right on track, only the decisions never seemed to fall into place. Frantic whatsapp messages, incessant chats and idle banter followed day in, day out without understanding where it was all leading to. Finally, the leader of the pack took a deep breath, shook his head in dismay and opened his laptop. Within 10 minutes, we had booked the destination, hotel and mode of transport. Victory seemed close. A quick group meeting happened in the confines of a car to understand who was in charge of booze, last minute check list, what the pick up point would be etc. We were raring to go. 

The day dawned when we were to leave in the night after office to Dhanaulti, 24 kms uphill beyond Mussoorie. Work just didn’t seem to get over on a hectic weekday thanks to the long upcoming weekend. We rushed through it all, delayed by an hour or so. Everyone had to pack, buy booze, assemble at a common point and then head over to pick up two of us from Faridabad and then finally hit the highway. The plan started collapsing from the word go! First, thanks to the delay from office, we were already running late, buying the alcohol took time, then the packing, and then assembling at one place. Even as that happened, we found the hookah missing and so one of us had to rush back to go get it. 30 mins past 9 pm and the car arrived after a lot of confusion and to our consternation, it is a Xylo and not an Innova! How were we all supposed to fit! It was sent back and frenetic calling and networking to get an innova somehow began. The leader was losing his cool by the minute. Finally, an Innova was arranged for by the cool dude of the clan and we finally packed inside to the next stop Faridabad. In all this chaos, we ended up leaving for our destination only by 11 past. Stop over on the highway for a late dinner and we were back on the road. Drinking, laughing, joking and sleepy, we were drowsing within a couple of hours. Except for our crazy doll who simply wouldn’t shut eye. Result: A lot of incessant throwing up at regular intervals that delayed our circuitous hilly drive by more than 45 minutes! 

9 am in the morning, we touched Dhanaulti Heights, a GMVN hotel. Checked in, refreshed our appetites with paranthas and omelettes only to crash in our rooms for the next two hours. That was a short lived endeavor. A quick bath and change later, Mr.Entrepreneur had work for the boys. Modelling for his new batch of tees took the morning away. Post that we were ready to head out for lunch and cover the scenic points to catch a breath taking view of the hilly expanse. An idle walk ahead led us to a greenish patch with lots of trees and a valley that dropped down several thousands of feet below. 

Several photo ops later, we were ready to head back to a soiree of music, drinks n snacks in the room followed by a bonfire outside the hotel. The warmth of the flames were able to pleasantly defy the chilly winds outside thanks to Cool Dude and Bindass Baba’s continuous wood supply. By the time we were back in our room, it was time to say sweet dreams. The next day saw us head out quickly to catch some flying fox and rope walking at the Eco Park. After breakfast, we were off to Rishikesh for some river rafting and relaxation depending on what you wished to do. 

Once at Rishikesh, a hurried lunch later the boys were off to fight the rapids while three of us headed to a more peaceful respite. A short walk brought the leader to a beautiful river front GMVN hotel aptly called the Ganga Resort. With dormitories rated at Rs.250, we were hooked on the spot and finalized our stay for the second night then and there. A quite time by the river helped wash away any strains of travel and a blazing thunderstorm shook off any sense of lethargy from our itinerant bodies. After the boys came back, we had a good time chatting up about their experience with another round of drinks and music. Somewhere all of us knew we were reaching the end of our journey and it was to be pack up time tomorrow.

We ran through the photos of our journey so far and called it a day by 11 pm. The next morning was Round 2 of the boy’s modeling session while the girls caught up on their beauty sleep. It was tough leaving the gurgling river but it was time to head back home. Our Innova made good time to cross Muzzafarnagar by lunch time. Ravenous, we ate lunch at a small eaterie, played cards on route to Delhi and finally reached the capital by 6 pm in the evening.

Parting was difficult. Baba Bindass’ non stop jokes and witty one liners, Crazy Doll’s Pukie Pie moments and constant bickering with the boys, Cool Dude’s misplaced hunt to find hot chicks, Mr.Entrepreneur’s eat-sleep-have fun all in a day’s work and the Leader’s directives and supervision throughout the trip would be moments we were going to retain as take away. Even as we said our good byes, we knew an indescribable bond had formed amongst us. A fellowship was born. The journey of the Road Surfers had just begun.

                                   

The REAL Himmatwalas!

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Hindi films and its reigning heroes have never had it easy. Like the changing times, they have had to constantly mould the language and expression of cinema to appeal to popular taste. Very often though, actors have barely been able to explore their range and ability to surprise us through their histrionics. Our superstars are namely actors who have been able to survive decades of brewing old wine in a new bottle, again and again and again. Take Salman Khan for instance- his films work because people want him to perform rather than act- so there will be an equal dose of humour, action, romance and dance- Salman style and all you got to do is replace the title and heroine every time to make the film work! The crème de la crème of our Hindi film industry has unfortunately succumbed to this trend- be it Ajay Devgn, Akshay Kumar, Shah Rukh Khan or Saif Ali Khan.

The trend of revising old hits has meant lesser emphasis on originality and more riding on yesteryear glory without justifying the purpose of it all. Right from RGV Ke Sholay to the new Himmatwala- I am yet to see the point of repackaging the past. Only Farhan Akhtar’s Don successfully took the previous film to a new tangent, making it larger than life and uber stylish enough to forgive his attempt at a remake. Of course, he also seems to have nullified the effort with a rather hapless sequel- Don 2, just to milk the series for what it’s worth. Not much actually, considering most people dismissed Shahrukh’s second attempt at recreating the dark figure of the Don as a tedious exercise in self indulgence. So what makes our heroes go for the tried and tested route every single time they sign up a new film- is it only the fear of failure and loss of mass appeal?  Which brings us to the question, “Is veering from the norm a serious risk to an actor’s career in Bollywood?” Thankfully, we have examples aplenty to prove this assumption wrong.

Irrfan Khan- From his appearance, you might quickly mistake him to be a character actor but one look at the raw intensity and earnestness this man brings to the screen and you know why he manages to breathe life in to any role he plays. Look at what he did with Maqbool or Paan Singh Tomar. A deserved National Award winning act by an actor who can perhaps be the only successor to the legacy of cinema spurred by the likes of Naseeruddin Shah and Om Puri in today’s day and age. This man knows he is in the industry for a cause and thank God for it!

Emraan Hashmi- Look closely and Emraan has no distinct feature to be immensely distinguishable and guess what, he can’t sing and dance around trees either! So what does this seemingly unnoticeable gentleman do that gets him noticed every time? His earlier films as a Bhatt camp protégé yielded hits galore thanks to his USP of an imperfect man- delicious and intriguing because of his imperfections. It seemed like he took pride in an ample display of grey shades in stead of all white or all black. This smart positioning has led him to bag interesting roles one after the other- my favourites are of course his potrayal of memorable characters in Once Upon a Time in Mumbai, Shanghai and The Dirty Picture.  This man makes them look that much more real, bitter and earthy. You simply cannot take away the credibility he offers to every film thanks to his uncanny charisma.

Abhay Deol- When I saw this man in real life at a party during a film festival, he seemed too tall, lanky and almost effeminate in his bearing. That was probably because he seemed so shy and tacit and like the odd man out in his formal slim tie and black silk shirt look where all of us were rather casually attired. Little did I know that this man who stood out was actually poised to stand tall with his pick of films in days ahead as well. From small films like Manorama Six Feet Under and Shanghai to Oye Lucky Lucky Oye and even a more glamorous Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, this guy stands out as being particularly endearing. None of that typical Punjabi dhamaal and cheesy dialogues will do for Abhay. Give him lots of meat in the role and see him bite it off at his own pace, relishing every moment of being different from the pack.

Aamir Khan- This man is the only superstar who has managed to opt out of the rat race while still being a part of it. He sets his own terms, creates his own mantra and sticks to it no matter what. From the chocolate boy of films like Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak to the comic tramp in Andaz Apna Apna, this man has tread all the miles that encompass commercial cinema. He even packed in a mean punch as the vengeful lover in Ghajini only to steal our hearts with the tender Taare Zameen Par. Trying to find something in common in all his roles is like finding similarities in the looks he sports with every film- don’t try it, you will be wasting your time.

John Abraham- Considering models in acting don’t last for so long, John is something of an example of how great looks, good marketing and smart business acumen can take a man far. His acting may still be critiqued but the truth is, films are being made today keeping him in mind, he is on the right track as a producer post the stupendous success of Vicky Donor and the ladies simply cannot seem to get enough of him.

Arjun Rampal- Like model turned actor John, one has to give it to Arjun for managing to hold his own in an overcrowded sea of better qualified actors. His already married status notwithstanding, this sizzling heartthrob has a sizeable reputation in the industry and is being cast in roles he is able to make an impact in. All we can say is Rock On.

Ranbir Kapoor- The most promising young ‘star material’ in this bandwagon, this actor steals the show when it comes to displaying a rare confidence to make his way into our hearts with his choice of films. Never giving in to the temptation of repeating his act, this RK scion has proved his mettle with an inimitable bank of good films in his kitty- Rockstar, Barfi! and Wake Up Sid opposite an unlikely co star like Konkona Sen at a time when even more bankable actors are choosing to go for multi starrers and hot selling female costars. This man plays with fire and seems to enjoy it. Can’t wait to see what Anurag Kashyap will do with this talented star in Bombay Velvet.

Finally, I cannot end this piece without mentioning two stalwarts who set box office ablaze in their halcyon days and are now still sought after for their insatiable hunger  and effortless panache for good roles no matter how unconventional. Amitabh Bachchan and Rishi Kapoor- looks like they aren’t hanging up their boots anytime soon and that is music to the ears of fans who still cannot seem to get enough of them. They’ve been there, done that and are now excelling in fresh pastures- with new directors, multiplex audience and zany scripts that stretch their limits. More veterans ought to show more courage and take a page out of their book.

Bigg Deal Chhe Boss!

A lot has already been said about it but what with the dirth of good television content today it has become imperative that people have something to watch daily, no matter how inane. Without a doubt, reality shows like Bigg Boss serve this purpose whether they are alag chhe or not. It is like coming back home and simply having something as intellectually non-stimulating as walls around you. You see shows like these make you feel familiar warmth about enjoying the mundane and banal; no matter how idiotic these shows are, they fulfill two needs- they kill your time and provide visual distraction without expecting much intellectual contribution from your side. Yes, now you know why KBC cannot compete here. And no, daily news channels are no match as they have the power to offend your senses. Bigg Boss is way better. For once, it is somebody else’s life under control, someone else being yelled at and insulted and someone else whose life is sounding like a joke. Actually, better than staring at the wall no? So there are a few recurring themes that have held forth every season of this exceptionally non life-altering reality show. Nah, I don’t mean the stupid tasks, the voice of Bigg Boss and the depravity of mankind. Read on to know more...

Loserville.com: Once a loser, always a loser! I mean how many of them do you even recall or have spotted post BB. Rahul Roy? Ashutosh Singh? Vindoo Dara Singh?? Shweta Tiwari, the only established TV actor with a career is an exception. The same cannot be said about Juhi Parmar who seems to have faded in to oblivion post her victory. As for the latest winner, I don’t remember the last TV outing Urvashi Dholakia starred in before this. Feel free to remind me please.

Discreet Brand Endorsements: Last year, it was Akashdeep Saigal being called Sky. If you thought that was an attempt to make him sound cool, think again. I have a hunch they were promoting Tata Sky in a novel way. This year, it’s been Delnaaz who was being called Dell (of the laptop brand).

Romantic Trysts: Nothing beats a lanky Rahul Mahajan trying desperately to woo defamed starlet Monica Bedi. The red rose every morning was followed by one of the corniest proposals ever made. “Eh, Monu sun na. Shaadi kar lete hai chal. Phir hamare bhi tere jaise cute cute bachche honge. Chal na. Haan bol de.” All the time shaking one leg while sitting on her bed, hardly able to quell his excitement. Classic.

The Vamp: Rakhi tried but couldn’t quite connect with the audience. Veena Malik won this hands down. She pouted, gasped, pirouetted, rolled her tongue in and out...what you getting scandalized for- you watched all of this with eyes wide open and mouth gaping remember! She also snuggled close for comfort with Ashmit Patel while eyeing and flirting her level best with the other dude in the house- Hrishant. Sunny Leone didn’t even match up to her potential, her professional credentials notwithstanding.

Resident Evil: Dolly Bindra, Akashdeep Saigal, Raja Choudhury, KRK, Imam Siddiqui...they all added so much aggression to the mundane routines of the House, they gave a new meaning to the term, ‘bringing the house down.”

And finally...The Host: Whoever remembers that the first season of Bigg Boss was hosted by a humble Arshad Warsi! By the next season, sultry Shilpa Shetty earned a second shot at fame with her much hyped win in Big Brother UK and was expected to bring more TRPs for the desi version in its second season. By season three, the producers had earned enough money to afford the Big B of cinema himself so Mr. Amitabh Bachchan did the honours and lent some refreshing dignity to the proceedings. The people behind the scenes though realised in time that they needed to connect with the youth and give more mass appeal to the show in terms of the presentation- read crass humour, juvenile jokes and loads of attitude and hungama. Exit AB. Enter Salman Khan. And they lived happily ever after. He was of course joined by Sanjay Dutt in Season 5 but the audience didn’t quite warm up to Munnabhai so Sallu was unanimously called upon to reprise his role and claim his throne. After all, no one can play ‘bhai’ quite like Salman right- he can crack the dumbest PJ on earth and people will still laugh. He can get angry, point fingers at the housemates and give them a show down on national television and people will applaud. If he flirts with the women with them flirting back, we will feel awed by his charismatic charm. And of course, who else can carry off lying down on stage because he simply feels like it in the middle of the show? This is one star who even Bigg Boss doesn’t take chances with ‘coz when it comes to Salman- like the great Dabangg star himself says sab kuch, ‘Alag Chhe!’

Confessions of An Atheist who is Not!

After visiting more than fourteen pilgrimage spots till date, I still don't get the point of it all. If you are a religious minded devotee of any form of God, you would probably find this objectionable and feel affronted. But sadly my friend, that is the truth. I still don't get the point of all the fuss. And please don't think I haven't done my research. Of course I find the sheer multitude of devotees risking their lives and luck every year to attain diving blessings at Vaishnodevi and Badrinath awe-inspiring. I also admire people who can walk barefeet to make their holy offerings to the Siddhi Vinayaka. There is a mystical aura to pandits bathing in freezing cold water at the banks of the river Ganga at the Varanasi Ghat. It's all so intrinsically a part of what we call religion in India that such acts are bestowed with a sense of utmost significance, innate devotion and a path leading to what we deem as salvation. My only question is: Are we deserving of being called God's offsprings on account of this facade we put up to appease his omnipresence? I beg to differ.

Religion as understood by me is a purely manmade entity nurtured out of an inherent need to instill authority, fear, hierarchy and abstinence. Usually, this is manifested more stringently in the case of our womanhood. All the vices that could possibly lead to shame are easily forgiven when it comes to a man but if a woman so much as refuses to use 'purdah' or 'touch her husband's feet', it is condemned as being an act of evil/defiance/rebellion. Religion in this context helps add unimaginable amounts of gravity to ban such acts as being against the will of God. Whoever is caught committing such acts is inadvertently termed as 'sinner' and must undergo punishment to salvage any opportunity of not landing at the gates of hell after death. Such religious obligations are seen across cultures in some form of the other, and eventually boil down to intolerable degrees of subjugation all in the name of true faith and submission to the Almighty. If idol worship, numerous rites and rituals for every occasion, women disempowerment and superstitions are mere offsprings of religion propagated and practised blindly and without question, the even more devastating after effects of religion have led to the birth of fanaticism, bigotry and terrorism. So pervasive are these diabolical tentacles of religious hatred spurred by warring leaders of various clans and communities, that they have inpinged on every nation and shaken political and social infrastructures to its roots. While it is easy to admonish a few extremists for leading such aggressive movements to their ultimate culmination of doom, our hand in unintentionally stoking and perpetrating such atrocities cannot be overlooked. Religious extremism is based on few so called theologists taking the liberty to twist the words of an already manmade entity i.e religion in his or her own way to serve his or her selfish purposes. Our crime is, we have let this happen for too long.

It is not in our hands to quell this Frankenstein we have created as conveniently as we let it grow. But there is much we can do while we still have the power to do it. Last heard, a temple is to be erected in the name of the deceased Shiv Sena supremo Bal Thackeray. Since when did we start deifying political leaders to an extent where we need to justify worshipping them? Are the numerous forms of God that religion gave us falling short of nourishing our faith? Do we then say, this is the neo-religious zeal of 21st century man who feels the need to invest his faith in new avatars rendering the former ones obsolete? Or do you agree that this is  yet again, a mockery of all that religion is/was/will be meant to be. Alas, anything that is manmade has the natural tendency to be revoked, restored, reinvented, rejuvenated and rebuilt. For the good or bad of mankind? Well, I will let the future decide that.

Meanwhile, I will continue to chant the name of God albeit in my own personal, spiritual and discreet manner and continue to believe that good karma and undying belief in the goodness of humanity will lead me to the doors of Heaven one day. Amen!

One Plate Women’s Lib Please!

All the women of the 21^st century, it’s time to take a bow. We have achieved and lived to see the day that zillions of women before us only dreamt of and perhaps even died dreaming of. They would have given anything to be part of the world we live in today, only if for the air of freedom we breathe, the rights we enjoy as a woman and that lethal weapon we so effortlessly wield in the face of a problem- choice. Yes, as women born and living in this day and age, we have what many women before us could only hope for- the weapon of choice. I call it weapon because it is something we can today use in our defence. It has helped us take key decisions to support, nurture and empower us. To opt for higher studies abroad, to push the decision to marry to a later date, to marry as per our preference, to work post marriage, to have a kid or not, to have your own back balance, to buy a house, to remain single, to take care of your parents, to follow your own religion, retain your maiden surname...the list goes on.

However, like any other change, this form of societal change has also brought with it, its fair share of cons. Which is why, along with the sense of pride that accompanies the feeling of achievement women’s lib has brought with it, there is also a deep sense of disillusionment and disappointment towards what we term as ‘progress’ we have made as women of today.

i) We love our skinny jeans and flaunting those shapely legs in our hotpants. What is unnerving though is when women start deliberately using it to prove their androgyny and boldness. So whether it’s a temple or a mehndi ceremony, I find it unsettling when a woman refuses to let go of the hotpants, even if they have to clash badly with her chuda and sindoor in tow for good measure! Since when did the plunge in your neckline or the butt cleavage you revealed start ascertaining the width of women’s lib, I wonder! Wearing a contrasting colour bra with your kurta or t shirt is also a distinct trait exclusive to this trend.

ii) So we all love it when the femme fatale in a film lets out a whiff of smoke before flashing her sexy pout at the camera. The slender cigar stylishly complements her long, winding fingers and bright red nails she flashes, as she gets rid of the accumulated ash at the tip of her cigar with a mere flick of her finger. So much in control...In our not-so-glamorous lives and in stark contrast though, are women who keep smoking to keep up with hectic jobs, domestic upheavals and to prove a point to every man on this planet earth, or just because you feel liberated because you do so. I have only one question for you- Is a stick of nicotine and a stinking mouth all you are left with after fighting the maladies of social evil perpretrated on womankind?

iii) I have often witnessed playful verbal battles between office colleagues about who can drink more given the chance. And several of my female colleagues take pride in being able to match a male whisky enthusiast drink by drink. Irrespective of your ability to stand vertical after that deadly dose of your favourite poison, your irresistible urge to hit the bottle still eggs you on. A woman who lets her instinct for alcohol loose, is giving an open invitation to losing the dignity she has spent more than half her life accomplishing. We all have a right to enjoying life but trust me, a habitual alcoholic is not my idea of a liberated woman, thank you very much. I once had a friend who wanted to be a pilot and show her dad that she could make him proud as a girl child. The only kind of skill she has accomplished till date is crash landing after being eight pegs down at the local bar.

Some other indicators for this millennium that would give you the ‘liberated’ tag are as follows:

iv) If you swear so filthily, it would put a truck driver to shame.

v) If you have been/are/will be dating more than a single man at a time or at different points of your life before finally settling for one. Compulsorily.

vi) If you are not a virgin before marriage

vii) If you are laying down the rules at home after marriage. And threatening your husband with divorce after every domestic squabble where the word ‘compromise’ comes up.

viii) If you regularly indulge in PDA with your current/ex/future lover from time to time.

ix) If you have left your house at 21-25 to live independently.

x) If you refuse to cook even if your 234^th maid just left in a huff.