I do, I don’t. Arrrgh… they won’t!

I haven’t watched Madhavan-Bipasha starrer Jodi Breakers and something tells me that’s a good decision but say, did the film take a cue from the leading lady’s recent break up with handsome Desi Boy John Abraham? Is that why Bipasha is going publicly verbose on how it’s high time he got hitched even while we wonder if it’s not high time she did the same. I simply don’t get stars. As if their personal lives are not befuddling enough, they go ahead and make statements like ‘I would love my man to be like my co-star in this film.’ Aunties & Uncles…wake up and smell the coffee or whatever it is that you drink but if the said co-star is single, why not just date him buddy? Or do you make such statements just to turn on the heat on your supposedly sizzling chemistry off screen as well? Cheap thrills to win some cheap publicity gimmicks really.

But what has truly become predictable these days is how most real life star jodis are never really headed down the aisle holding hands to pledge their lives unto each other. Most popular celebrity jodis of the past whose path to holy matrimony seemed like a mountain trek include Shahid-Kareena, Harman-Priyanka, Deepika-Ranbir, Ranveer-Anushka…to name a few. Of course, you will say it is easy for me to say so now after these relationships have hit rock bottom but well, I can give you tell-tale signs why a star’s relationship is heading towards splitsvilla in each case. So in the aftermath of the famous Shahid Kareena break up, Bebo discovered Saif’s Tashan, Priyanka realized Love Story 2050 would not work in year 2008, Deepika understood that while she was matching steps with Ranbir’s Bachna Ae Haseeno, he meant every word he sang and Ranveer & Anushka let wisdom prevail by postponing all plans of a Band Baaja Baarat ending to their relationship at the brink of their promising careers. 

It makes perfect sense when you apply good old Grandma’s logic to it. If it ain’t for the long haul, no point dragging the dead swan. Wow, I could make a living on penning my own Chinese proverbs you know. But while on the topic, what may be a reason for splitting from a long term rishta in one case may be the same reason star couples get together in the first place. So don’t go buying their ‘we were too alike or too different’ rants or even better, ‘being from the same industry made lives hell’ when that’s the very reason they seem to bond with their new arm candies. Truth is, there are very less chances of finding eligible bachelors like Shahid Kapoor on shaadi.com right? Stars don’t really hunt down their life partners in public you know. It’s behind closed doors- those of fancy studios, five star party venues, a plush pub in Paris or even a make up van, (ahem) that stars find their potential partners! You can’t blame them can you, living out their lives in 35 mm dimensions all the time. Where is the time to date the odd charming commoner or fawning fan? Grrr…why do you think I am not married to Aamir Khan or Hrithik Roshan? So now you know. Birds of a feather flock together and all that jazz. That is it in most cases though.

A majority of star couples dating and admitting to doing so openly, will fizzle out given a certain time when their togetherness starts feeling jaded (read not generating enough heat or speculation). This is not to say all celebrity relationships live on hype but you know, it must not help the attraction levels between two hot stars when people fail to get attracted to their attraction for each other.  Of course there are other pragmatic reasons for rifts in the love story but most celebrity relationships are known to end up in doldrums after the initial high of ‘look who I caught’ and ‘this is truly forever’ mid life crisis. Which is why it is heartwarming to see jodis like Ritesh and Genelia tie the knot after a long, hardly publicized courtship- it is just the way typical star jodis don’t behave. My advice to these typical twosomes would be to take a page out of the newly weds book and keep the media at bay by not divulging too much about their relationship constantly. If we aren’t going to get fed up of the incessant mush in your life, you sure are bound to sooner or later. Saifeenas of the world beware. Just like your on screen chemistry does not always guarantee a hit, driving your aligned brand down our throats in every frame ain’t gonna make your relationship any stronger, it will just put more pressure on the two of you to keep looking good together, no matter the tiffs and tugs in your romantic rendezvous. Public focus can kill as fast as it can get you fame. So will Saifeena join the bandwagon of celebs in marital bliss? Hmm… the nuptials can be the easy part, making it work in tinseltown is most often, not.