Sequel That!

When I studied film and advertising in my mass communications course, they both used to co-exist as separate subjects. But going by the current form of filmmaking, we might as well start clubbing the two while teaching it to film students especially. After all, anyone who wants to make a film will want to sell it profitably in the end, just like another product in the market. That means as a filmmaker you must no longer know how to differentiate a montage from a mis en scene, rather start devouring whatever texts you can on topics like ‘Advertising in the new millenium’, ‘How to build brand recall, ‘Creating brand identity’ etc. While at it, also pick up whatever skills of marketing you can with books with taglines that read like ‘Marketing for beginners’, ‘It’s all about effective outreach’, ‘Marketing guidelines now at your fingertips’ and so on. Futuristically speaking, we might have to move away the books that marked the history of cinema and filmmaking techniques and replace them with books on how to go about advertising and marketing read ‘promoting’ films adequately.

Our A-list stars, producers and directors spend a large amount of time and energy in making a film. Most of them will also agree that twice that amount of time and energy is required to first build a marketing strategy and then work on it these days. So if Vidya Balan was hitting the roads across cities in a heavily pregnant avatar to promote Kahaani, it obviously wasn’t because she had got used to baby bulk. No matter how good your film may be, the truth is you will have to be armed with heavy duty ammunition to get people in to theatres to promote your labour of love. And if not, take an easy way out and just cash in on the popularity of your last big hit and make a sequel. This also comes in handy when you are running out of good original story ideas, which is often the case with Bollywood.

You don’t need to be an advertising guru to figure out the strength of a film that has now become a brand by itself. Films like Hera Pheri, Don, Munnabhai, Dhoom and Golmaal have successfully proven, time and again that people like investing their money sheerly on brand recall. The value of the brand is as good as the way it fared last at the box office. In fact, most of these films have done better in their second editions thus not only satisfying the consumer audience’s expectations but making room for further versions.  It’s a win-win situation for all involved- the producer, distributor, director, cast and the audience.  Get the same cast with a few minor changes, at least one surprise in store to build excitement like another top star or a new pairing, give a few twists to the plot and keep the mood similar enough to generate brand recall and you have the ingredients to hit the jackpot, yet again. Housefull, Jism, Dabangg, Race, Krrish and Dostana are all banking on this formula for their second innings.

Frankly, with a few exceptions, I have no problems with such a concept but I do dread the making of sequels of films such as these:

Agneepath: Errr…the entire main cast died by the end of the film, what are we going to see next if not their resurrection aka punar janam?

3 Idiots: Hmm…the 3 idiots had found their calling by the end of the first film, this one would probably track the phenomenal love story of Mr and Mrs.Phunsuk Wangdu…yikes!

Love Aaj Kal: Considering this one was more a lesson in how to kill a love story in current times the next one would trace how couples will court in the next century titled Love Kal Parso.

Sholay: We had a great filmmaker called Ram Gopal Varma try to dissect this classic with his own remake, all we need is a sequel to tell us if Basanti ever stops talking or if Veeru and Basanti’s son grows up to be called Jai.

Faltu: Unlike the above mentioned films, this one is rumoured to be in the making. I hope this is just a rumour because if we have begun endorsing faltu films, it is time the industry simply shut down.

However, do not lose hope. We still have films that could be decently whipped up again to create more brand frenzy. After all there may come a time when people like their clothes, only watch ‘branded’ films too!

Paa 2: This will be baby Aaradhya’s debut film and will star Paa.Jr Abhishek Bachchan in the title role obviously with the entire Bachchan parivaar in tow. After all, they ARE family.

Phir Bhi Kuch Kuch Hota Hai: In this evergreen love triangular plot, Ranbir Kapoor will woo Deepika Padukone back into his life after courting Katrina Kaif for a while. Salman will reclaim his role of the other guy who in this case, will snatch away Katrina from the already slippery clutches of Ranbir. Lots of mushy songs will play in the background for good measure.

Dilwale Dulhania Le Jaayenge: Isn’t this film still playing matinee at Mumbai’s Marathi Mandir? Wonder what’s stopping Aditya Chopra from repeating the magic- now that Kajol is waiting for new scripts and SRK badly needs to rework his image and get back to playing mushy Rahul/Raj? Or wait, is that what Yash Chopra’s comeback film is all about? Just remember, you read it here first.

No One Killed Aarushi: God knows this film is waiting to happen and who else than Rani Mukherjee can play the role of a justice hungry journalist all out to nail the slimy culprit. The murderers need to be booked in a court and of course, Rani needs a meaty role to dig into and swear some more .

The Dirtier Picture: This one will star Mallika Sherawat and Frieda Pinto and tell you how they got rich and famous in America.

Don’t tell me that isn’t an enviable list eh? And don’t tell me I didn’t tell you if any of these films see the light of day. And to filmmakers who might bring these ideas to screen, I accept payments in cash or cheques, preferable hand delivered. Thank you.